Write at Home Mom

Awesome Children's Book Giveaway!

2012-02-10T09:18:00.002-05:00

I am so excited to offer you a chance to win in a copy of a newly released children's book, Cooper and Me and the Military. Now you probably know by now that it doesn't take much to make me cry, but still, it's not often that I cry at a children's book. Oh but I did this time.

Cooper and Me is a series of children's books created to teach children life lessons and to foster developmentally crucial conversations. And I, for one, am impressed. This is the first time I've met Cooper, a charming black Lab.

In this particular installment, Cooper hangs out with Trooper, a former military service dog. Trooper has been adopted by two soldiers, who are still serving overseas. Trooper, and the soldiers' two children, currently live with a very lucky grandma.

This story will help children understand that some people, including parents, serve our country overseas. It encourages empathy and gratitude. The book is a rhyming narrative and is appropriate for a wide range of ages.

Giveaway!

To be entered in the giveaway, do one or more of the following things, and leave a separate comment for each thing you've done. Be sure that I know how to get hold of you!

For a single entry into the giveaway, follow this blog via Google Friend Connect. This is mandatory for entrance into the giveaway. No other entries will count if you are not a follower. :)
For an additional entry, follow this blog via Networked Blogs on Facebook.
For an additional entry, like Write at Home Mom's Facebook page.
For an additional entry, follow me on Twitter at @Robin_Merrill.
For an additional entry, subscribe to Write at Home Mom.
For an additional entry, and lots of good karma, link to my blog from your blog!

Thanks for participating in the giveaway! I will chose one winner on February 17, 2012. U.S. winners only.

Want more Cooper and Trooper? Visit Cooper and Me on Facebook and Twitter! And definitely check out the cool, interactive Cooper and Me website!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a copy of this book for free in hope that I would mention it on my blog. I only recommend products or services I believe would be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Are You a Member of Your Local Business Alliance?

2012-02-10T07:05:00.000-05:00

I just got invited to join the Business Alliance in the town where I (usually) live. At first, I laughed aloud, but then I quickly grew excited.

You see, I don't consider myself a business mind--I'm an artist type, right? What business (I know, bad pun) do I have in a business alliance? But then I thought, well then I probably need to be around the people in the business alliance. Besides, writing is business these days. For all intents and purposes, I have my own small business and do all the things that business people do. Apparently, it's time that I embrace my inner businesswoman.

The opportunity has so many perks. First, most of the people in my town don't know I exist. Most of my clients are from far, far away, which is fine--I'm not complaining--but wouldn't it be cool to help the local veterinarian with his brochures as well as the veterinarians in Colorado?! And while I'm a classic introvert, I do love people, and the thought of networking with and truly getting to know these folks sounds like a great opportunity.

And this particular business alliance exists with the common goal of making our town a better place. I am always up for that!

So, you know what I'm going to say next. Are you a member of your local business alliance? If not, check it out! Look into the perks, the fees, and the application process and see if it would be a good move for you. What's that? Your town doesn't have a business alliance? Well then you know what I'm going to say next! Start one! Okay, that might be a lot of work, but it also might be worth it.

Let me know how it goes for you, and I'll do the same! Happy Friday! (Not that Friday really matters to freelancers, or mothers.)

Are Megachurches Spiritually Relevant or Just Socially Convenient?

2012-02-01T20:55:00.000-05:00

WAHM is happy to treat you to a guest post today, on what I find to be one of the most intriguing topics of life: church life. Enjoy!

Just as religion has taken on new roles, hats, and faces throughout the centuries, so have the places in which we worship, celebrate, and reflect on our faiths. Centuries ago, churches were not what many have become today. Traditionally, churches were usually quite small; meant to hold only 50 to 100 people; and designed in such a way that worshipers would be able to feel and experience a sense of family and community; however, around the early 1950s, megachurches began to spring up and multiply.

Some people enjoy the larger-than-life services while others worry that worshippers will get lost in the sea of people and miss the point of church. So what value to mega-churches have? Are they spiritually relevant or just socially convenient?

Usually defined as churches with 2,000 or more worshipers in average weekend attendance, megachurches have existed for some time. That said, they have grown increasingly abundant over the past several decades.

Before the 1950s, the number of megachurches in existence was hardly worth mentioning; but according to today’s Hartford Institute, there are more than 1,300 Protestant churches in the U.S. alone, 50 of them with a weekly attendance between 10,000 to 47,000 people. Other statistics provided by Leadership Network’s Warren Bird, the main research director, state that, as of 2012, there are 1,600 megachurches in the U.S, varying from Baptist to Southern Baptist to various Assemblies of God, nondenominational and many other Christian denominations. Out of the 1,600 churches, 75 percent are located within what is known as “the Bible Belt.”

Do Megachurches Bring On Mega Problems?

With so many people in the same location at the same time, one may start to question whether these megachurches truly allow for the development of the traditional church family and society, or if they are merely a place to promote a shallow spiritual experience. Is it really possible for megachurch attendees to truly reach a spiritual level of worship in a jam-packed room with a sermon delivered not only to those physically in the church, but even those who may be watching the sermon from the comfort of their living room? Are megachurches really just a place where pastors are able to draw in big bucks to franchise their churches?

According to Dr. Don Lowrance, a Corpus Christi dentist, megachurches take away the sacredness that religion once was, and should be. “The Megachurch movement was all about being ‘relevant and contemporary’ but that has the tendency to remove the Sacred from the institution,” he said. “When there is no ‘high church’ then everything seeks a lower level. Sacred by mere definition is something that is transcendent in nature and ineffable in mystery. It deserves our worship.” According to Lowrance, the lower levels he speaks of vary throughout society. “Protestant churches had a revolt against Catholicism and all the meaning that gives the ceremony and ornateness of a church passe,” he said. “Even today, Catholic churches are more ornate and the things that are in them have meaning in and of themselves that help you remember. Think of Tevye in Fiddler On The Roof, when he’s talking about his prayer shawl, he says, ‘These are the things that help me remember who I am and who God is,’ so we have taken all of those sacred things out of the church and all we have left is each other, and a lot of us are not very pretty or sacred. We don’t all dress anymore like we’re trying to honor God. We have just very much watered down church and made it mundane and everyday-like. Whereas it should be a time of remembering who we are and who God is, to give ourselves a proper perspective of our lives here on Earth and our Theology: our purpose of being; of ‘Why are we here?’ I think Catholic churches as well as Episcopal, Anglican, and even Lutheran do a much better job of displaying things to help us to have that perspective than the average protestant churches which are pretty bare if you go to a protestant church.”

Many people also complain that some megachurches seem to exist merely for convenience. Nowadays, a large percentage of megachurches broadcast their services on the television, radio, and even on the World Wide Web. Is it socially acceptable to worship at home, merely because it’s convenient, easy, and fitting in today’s ultra-busy lifestyle?

Let’s Keep It Personal

On the other hand, philosophers and worshipers alike have also suggested that maybe religion isn’t something that depends on the environment that it’s practiced in or the amount of people whom it’s practiced around. Instead, maybe religion is merely a highly personal aspect of life that only has true meaning, both inwardly and outwardly, depending upon each person.

Jonathan Fashbaugh, a member of Resurrection Fellowship in Loveland, Colorado explained his stance on having been a member of both small and large churches. “Resurrection Fellowship is the largest church that I’ve ever been a part of. When we first started going, I was afraid that we would just get lost in this sea of people; but my wife and I made the effort to get connected, and that made all the difference. We joined a cell group and started attending the men’s and women’s groups that meet during the week. But we’ve done those things at other churches – smaller churches even – and I never felt as much a part of a church as I do at Rez. I think a lot of that has to do with my spiritual life more than the church itself.”

Whether you’re a weekly visitor at the local megachurch or an avid worshiper at a small, conventional church, spirituality and religious connection may simply boil down to a personal decision that differs from person to person.

“If you want to go to a church but don’t truly want to be a part of it, I’m sure that you could show up at Rez every Sunday and not get to know anyone,” Fashbaugh said. “A relationship with a church is a two-way street. You can’t expect to be spoon-fed a relationship, and no one is going to force you to get plugged in.”

From the beginning of time, religion has, and will continue to be, a widely debated issue. In the end, a person’s religious choices and opinions may all be relative and all that really matters is that he or she finds the place where he or she can best connect with God.

Ashley Page writes for Off-Topic Media. Special thanks to Jonathan Fashbaugh and Dr. Don Lowrance for taking time to speak with us. Dr. Lowrance can be reached at his office located at:
Don H Lowrance, MS, DDS, PC
16607 Blanco Rd.,
Building 15. Ste 1506
San Antonio, Texas 78232
(210) 294-5111

This Will Make You Laugh

2012-01-30T11:45:00.000-05:00

Source: http://www.gocomics.com/looseparts

Never Apply for EMERGENCY URGENT RIGHT NOW Jobs

2012-01-24T14:19:00.004-05:00

If you spend any time at all hunting for freelance writing jobs, you have definitely run across a job that says something like, "Need this done in the next five hours. Apply right away!" These can be enticing. A quick job means quick payment. A hurried application job means fewer people will apply.
But don't fall for it. It's a trap.

If you apply for one of these jobs, you will spend the next five hours, twelve hours, or even twenty-four hours waiting to see if you got the job. I once sat up all night waiting to hear from Denmark whether or not I was hired. And of course, I wasn't.

I have a theory. According to my theory, people who post these rush jobs post them on a website, then get impatient when someone doesn't apply in the next five minutes, and find another way to get it done. There's probably a good chance they just do it themselves.

And if they do hire someone based on that job listing, it is definitely the first person who applied. How confident are you that you are that person? Can you tell when the job was posted? If it was more than five minutes ago, it's gone.

And...think about why someone would be in such a jam in the first place. I can only come up with one theory for why someone needs a dental brochure written in the next five hours--they're subcontracting. No dentist would be in that much of a hurry. These rush jobs are almost always (if not always) posted by someone else who is being paid to do the job. This means that they will take a cut of your pay.

In short, avoid the job listings for URGENT LIFE OR DEATH RIGHT NOW IN THE NEXT HOUR AHHHHHH jobs. Relax. Avoid the stress. Go to bed at night. Apply to jobs where no one is already in a tizzy.

Josh Turner Testimony

2012-01-19T11:56:00.000-05:00

George Jones once said "I love country music like it was a religion." I too, used to love country music like it was a religion. I grew up on it, and country music helped me through many miserable moments. At its core, I believe that country music is beautiful, powerful, and spiritual.

If it weren't for the music of Randy Travis, I probably wouldn't be where I am now. I probably wouldn't be safely resting in the arms of Jesus. His music entered my heart when my heart was closed off to "religion" and it helped to make me aware that Jesus was a personal savior, not a religious icon.

When Josh Turner hit the scene, I loved him. I loved him, most of all, because he reminded me of Randy Travis. So, in the testimony below, I was not surprised to hear that Randy's first album, Storms of Life, an album I grew up on, was the first album Josh Turner ever owned.

But in the last few years, I've written country music off. The closer I've grown to God, the further I've grown from my country music roots. To be frank, country music radio annoys the snot out of me. To my now highly sensitive ears, it sounds like one big long glorification of drinking and adultery.

But what annoys me even more than that is the fact that country music does mention God. It is tradition, and it continues on today. But these songs only mention God--they do not put Him first. One song mentions "finding Jesus" in the same breath as "learned to drink beer" as if those two milestones were equally necessary elements of growing up. This type of songwriting makes me want to put my fist through the windshield.

Which is why I'm so glad I found Josh Turner's testimony at IAmSecond.com. First, I'm glad I found it because its always a blessing to hear someone else talk about his or her love for God. Second, it was awesome to hear Josh say "God hasn't called me to be a Christian singer. God has called me to be a country singer who just happens to be a Christian."

Somehow, this made me realize that I've been blaming the wrong entity. Country music, per se, isn't to blame. There is a lot of truth, a lot of spiritual power, and a lot of life in country music. And I think it's because of this power that the enemy has attacked country music, just like he does anything else that poses a threat to his rule. And he's doing a good job. Country music is big money now, and of course, that changed things. "I was country when country wasn't cool," but country is very cool now, and this isn't good news for Christian country bumpkins.

But there are still people out there, like Josh Turner, like Randy Travis, sharing the truth to thousands of screaming, and possibly slightly buzzed, country fans. And I should be praying for them all, not turning my nose up at the sound of a steel guitar.

Giveaway A Mile in His Shoes--Movie Review

2012-01-18T20:47:00.002-05:00

My family and I just finished watching a great new movie, A Mile in His Shoes, from the director of Angels in the Outfield.

My hubbie and I are suckers for "sports movies" -- in fact, that's one of the very few things we agree on. But anyway, I was excited to watch this movie, and it didn't disappoint. It is a feel good baseball movie, about a coach who "discovers" (by obvious Providence) a young man with an uncanny ability to pitch a baseball. The young man also has Asperger's syndrome. This makes for a charming, feel-good, and family-friendly movie that will make you fall in love with the characters, while making you fall in love with baseball all over again.

Luke Schroder, son of famous child star Rick Schroder, gives a noteworthy performance of an 18-year-old young man with Asperger's. He is believable and absolutely adorable. Here's the trailer so you can see for yourself.

Obviously, I recommend the movie, and I am excited to be able to give a copy of the movie to one of you! To be entered in the giveaway, do one or more of the following things, and then leave a separate comment for each thing you've done. Be sure I know how to get hold of you!

For a single entry into the giveaway become a follower of this blog via GFC. This is mandatory for entrance into the giveaway. No other entries will count if you are not a follower!
For an additional entry, follow this blog via Networked Blogs on Facebook.
For an additional entry, like Write at Home Mom's Facebook page.
For an additional entry, follow me on Twitter at @Robin_Merrill.
For an additional entry, subscribe to Write at Home Mom.
For an additional entry, and lots of good karma, link to my blog from your blog!

Thanks for participating in the giveaway! I will chose one winner on January 28th, 2012. U.S. winners only.

I hope you love this movie! You can also check out A Mile in His Shoes on Facebook.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a copy of the aforementioned movie for free in hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

Sometimes Freelance Writers Get Fired

2012-01-18T15:55:00.000-05:00

So I got fired yesterday. I totally deserved it. Why did I get fired? Well, because I was slower than death. You see, I had this job that I really enjoyed, but it didn't pay much, so I kept putting it off for jobs that would pay the bills. Throw in a couple of personal life complications, and I had gotten soooo far behind. I would tell you, but its too embarassing. And just like any traditional employer would, this particular client fired me.

It's not the end of the world. I have more than a dozen clients who show no signs of growing tired of me. This particular client didn't pay much, so my pocketbook won't even take a hit. And the good thing about freelancing is that if one client doesn't work out, others will.

The lesson here lies in the fact that I loved this job. It was one of my favorites. And now its gone. The lesson I've learned is to not let my pocketbook prioritize my jobs, at least not entirely. If I don't consult with my pocketbook once in a while, I would spend all of my time working on sonnets and we would all starve to death. But seriously, I loved this job, and will miss it very much. And if I am blessed with another job I love as much as this one, I won't keep it on the backburner for long.

Is there like a secret writer's club or something?

2012-01-16T09:14:00.023-05:00

Lately, a few people have been asking me some variation of the above question. Why do all writers seem to know each other? Is there like a secret society? Should I be paying some sort of dues?

Well, for some people, it just happens. Some people just fall into a writer's life, get lots of friends, and live happily ever after.

Then there's the rest of us. And I've been there. I've been the freakish lonely poet who felt like I was the only writer in the universe. I was even annoyed by all the writers who did know each other, because I didn't understand how they did it.

So, here's what I've learned. There is no secret club, but there is most certainly a writer's network. There are no financial dues to pay, but you do have to invest time.

And writers are not a very inviting group. Don't hate us for this. It's just that 99.99% of us are introverts. And then most of us are insecure and terrified that the next new writer will be better than us. It's a sad world, I know, but if you still want to be a part of it, here's how:

Join a writer's group. This can be difficult in that most thriving writer's groups aren't looking for new members, and some geographical areas don't even have a writer's group nearby. Inquire at libraries and bookstores. Be patient. And if you can't find one, start your own. Then advertise in the paper and online. Someone in the larger writers' community might come join your group.
Go to readings. For me, this has been the best way to make friends. Go to fiction and poetry readings and support them. Talk to the authors afterward. Maybe gift them one of your chapbooks. Don't be a stalker, but don't be afraid to tell them your name.
When you appreciate a writer's work, tell him or her. Don't be a stalker, but do be gracious. And don't try to fake it. But if you do admire a writer's work, be sure that he or she knows. Who knows? That person could become your mentor.
Participate in open mics. I know that this can make you want to pee your pants, but do it anyway. Find an open mic and read a story or a poem and then hang around afterward while everyone is having beer and coffee. Schmooze.
If you've got $30,000, get your MFA degree.
If you don't have $30,000, enroll in a local creative writing class. These are often available through: community centers, adult ed. programs, and community colleges. Chances are good that the instructor, and possibly other members of the class, are part of the greater secret writers' club.
Go to a writer's conference or workshop. These are usually a bit pricey, but you will meet lots of writers, and you will likely learn a lot too.
Get yourself on an email list. Ask writers you do know what mailing lists are out there. Just about every area has some saint compiling a newsletter of events and news. Get your name on that list. Or better yet, start your own list, and then writers would need to contact you to promote themselves!
Interact on social media. Get some writer friends on Facebook and Twitter.

A poet I know answered the "Is there like a secret club or something?" question with this: "No. There is no secret club. But realize that we've been doing this forever. And there's only so many of us who have been doing it forever, so we have all gotten to know each other."

So, realize that relationships take time. If you have just decided to come out of the writer's closet, then it will likely take some time before you are attending writers' dinner parties every weekend, but I assure you, this club is open to new members. Just pay your dues of time, keep writing, and try to get to know your inner extrovert.

Don't Pay People to Publish Your Poetry

2012-01-15T09:06:00.003-05:00

I say this with love. You'd probably think I was nuts if you knew how much love I say this with.

I'm a poet. I get it. I know the drive to find an audience for your work. I know that you (or at least I) would go to great lengths to get a poem published.

But this doesn't mean you have to pay for it.

More than ever, aspiring profit-seekers are offering to publish your poetry in exchange for a small fee. Here are some examples:

Publication charges "reading fee" to even consider your work. I can think of an occasional exception to this rule, but usually, reading fees are not legit. They are especially not legit if you do not get paid (even if its payment by copy of publication) for the publication of your poem.
Publication charges fee to publish your work.
Publication publishes your work for free, but does not distribute the publication, and you must buy a copy (or two) of the publication in order to even see your work. This doesn't qualify as a scam, exactly, but I'm willing to bet they would not publish your poem if you didn't order a copy. There are many companies doing this, and I challenge you to compare the cost of the book you buy to the cost of anthologies you find in the bookstore. Are the prices similar? Would you pay $70 for a book of poetry from Barnes & Noble? Then be suspicious if your press is asking you to buy a book for an outrageous price.

Please feel free to add other examples of paid-publishing opportunities in the comments.

Here's some things to consider. "Publication" is a pretty ambiguous term. Publication used to mean that your poem appeared in hard copy book or magazine that was distributed. Therefore, publication used to mean that your poem left your brain and soul and found other human brains and souls--publication used to mean communication. That is no longer the case. While publication can still mean this, it can also mean that your poem appears somewhere and that no one, and I mean no one, not even the editors or the other poets published, ever reads your work. This just makes me sad. And the fact that you are paying for the opportunity to waste your work like this makes me even sadder.

There are so many other ways to find an audience for your work, to validate your work, to find PUBLICATION for your work. You should be getting paid for your poems, not the other way around. And no, I'm not suggesting that you should be getting rich. That would be ridiculous, but you should at least be getting paid with a copy of the publication. And you shouldn't have to pay for the postage either. And if its an online publication, then you should be getting paid by efforts to promote the said publication and your work.

Don't respond to online poetry publication ads that seduce you with flattery. The truth is that there are hundreds of thousands of poets out there trying to get published, so no legit publication should be that desperate for submissions. Instead, buy yourself a copy of Poet's Market and look for publications with an established reputation.

If you've tried the traditional route and you are sick of it, then self-publish your poems, and put yourself in charge of distribution and promotion. Then, at least, you might be able to find an audience. Don't give your money away--you, and your poetry, are too important, too sacred, for that.

Walgreens Offers Discount on Prescription Savings Club in January

2012-01-13T04:01:00.001-05:00

This post brought to you by Walgreens. All opinions are 100% mine.

There is bad news and good news for Walgreens shoppers. It's a little complicated, so you'd be better off reading about it here—Walgreens and Express Scripts—rather than having me explain it to you.

Here's what I do know: Express Scripts, a pharmacy benefits manager, pays Walgreens and other drugstores to fill prescriptions. They're like a drug middleman. One of Express Scripts’ clients is Tricare, the health and prescription drug program for America’s military. As of January 1^st, certain prescription insurance plans (including Tricare) that are managed by Express Scripts will no longer pay for prescriptions at Walgreens.

One of my relatives, who works at a pharmacy, told me that her pharmacy has received a lot of new clients—clients who used to get their prescriptions filled at Walgreens. She also told me that the issue is really local community pharmacy vs. big mail order pharmacy business. Express Scripts wants everyone to order their drugs through the mail.

Ready for the good news? Walgreens has developed a comprehensive national effort, which will allow patients to keep their prescriptions at Walgreens. One of the things they are doing is offering a special discount on annual membership for the Walgreens Prescription Savings Club.

During January, you can join the Club for only $5. A family membership, which costs only $10, covers everyone in your immediate family, including pets! If you join, you receive discounted prices on your prescriptions for more than 8,000 brand-name and all generic drugs. And you can get them at a real pharmacy from a real person and not through the mail. Customers who are part of this club have access to 3-month supplies of more than 400 generics for less than $1 a week. Membership also includes discounts on flu shots, nebulizers, and diabetic supplies.

Follow Walgreens on Facebook and Walgreens on Twitter.

Do I Use a Comma Before Too

2012-01-12T06:14:00.002-05:00

Do you use a comma before you use the word too at the end of a sentence?

For example,
I love cupcakes too.
Or

I love cupcakes, too.

In all of my training, all of my seminars, all of my classes, all of my writing workshops, and all the grammar books I've taught from, I have never been instructed to use the comma before too at the end of the sentence. What purpose does it serve? Do you pause there when you speak? Does the comma add a bit of clarity? No.

Yet, many, many people use this comma.

When in doubt, consult the Bible. When the Bible doesn't help with grammar, consult the Grammar Girl. It seems even the Grammar Girl doesn't want to weigh in on this one, as she had a guest writer complete this particular lesson, but the website's official answer is that it's up to the writer. She says a writer can use the comma to create a pause to create emphasis. I could buy this, but the writers who use this technique use it all the time, not just when they want to create emphasis. The post also mentions that the comma can slightly change the meaning of the sentence. I don't see how this is possible.

As an English teacher, I lived and died by the Purdue OWL, which, in its discussion of commas, does not mention the too conundrum.

So here I am, chugging along, proclaiming myself a grammar guru, getting paid to be a copyeditor, and am completely certain that there is no need for a comma before too when I am corrected. By a manager at a publishing company. "Robin, leave the commas before the toos." What? Now, this direction came from a publisher of children's books.

So, a bit confused, but willing, of course, to comply, I continued on in my daily life, which of course, includes reading books to my children every day. And guess what? Within 48 hours of receiving that direction, I noticed, in a children's book that was published by someone else, a comma before a too at the end of a sentence. And then a few days later, I saw it in a different children's book from a different publisher. What? Was I on to something? So, I began to voraciously read every children's book in sight--actually, I just began to scan them, looking for the comma-too combo, and alas, I found it several times: sometimes there was a comma before too and sometimes there wasn't.

I gave up. I decided that either way was correct and that the comma just happened to be a bit more common in children's literature.

Then, I was perusing the 2012 edition of Children's Writers and Illustrator's Market and my jaw dropped! The editor of that book uses the comma! Ah, I am pulling my hair out here. (Yes, I really do care this much. Strange, I know.)

So I went to the Chicago Manual of Style, and here's what I found:

A comma can do some work in making the meaning of a sentence clear, but to claim two different meanings for I like apples and bananas too with and without a comma before too puts too much pressure on the comma. Out of context, neither version would be perfectly clear. To make the different meanings more apparent, short of additional context, you’d have to be more explicit:

I too like apples and bananas.
I like not only apples but bananas too.
Use commas with too only when you want to emphasize an abrupt change of thought:
He didn’t know at first what hit him, but then, too, he hadn’t ever walked in a field strewn with garden rakes.
In most other cases, commas with this short adverb are unnecessary (an exception being sentences that begin with too—in the sense of also—a construction some writers would avoid as being too awkward).

So, after this unneccessarily long discussion of the comma, I leave you with no directive. I apologize. If you are a children's writer, consult with your publisher. But I still don't see it in any of the (adult) books that I read.

Thoughts?

2012 New Year's Resolutions

2012-01-01T21:57:00.005-05:00

So last year, at about this time, I cranked out a list of completely silly New Year's Resolutions, and much to my amazement, people liked them. Funnily, a lovely lady from a MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group from halfway across the country contacted me and asked me if she could use my resolutions in their newsletter. Why is this funny? Because my own MOPS group has been asking me to contribute to our own newsletter for quite some time now. And I've been a slacker, for sure. :(

Anyway, people have told me that the 2011 goals were amusing. And someone just asked me about the plan for 2012. What?! It's already been a year? Time for new goals already?

It's not like I did that well on last year's batch. I kept two of them. You guess which two. So, maybe 2012 will be better. Here goes:

I will limit myself to 5 episodes of Psych per week. (Okay, six.)
I will download the new maps to my Garmin GPS, so that the little Australian man will stop trying to drive me into the ocean.
I will lose 10 pounds. (Okay, six.)
I will send out the 2010 Christmas cards.
I'll get started on the 2011 Christmas cards.
I will contribute to the MOPS newsletter.
On Tuesdays, I will get dressed.
I will get the oil changed in the minivan.
I will find the freakin' remote control.
I will stop using the word "freakin."

Happy New Year.

Merry Christmas, Because It Matters.

2011-12-24T12:58:00.005-05:00

If my soul could manifest itself entirely in a sound--if all that I've ever been, the child, the young adult, the broken woman, the rescued servant--if all of this could be represented by a single sound, a sound I would spend eternity with, it would undoubtably be the voice of Reba, and she would probably be singing this song.

10% Off All Products from bigDOTprint!

2011-12-22T20:00:00.001-05:00

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Stop the Clock

2011-12-22T05:48:00.000-05:00

I've decided my kids have reached the perfect age. So I want them to stop aging. At 4 1/2 and almost 3, each of my babies can pee in the potty, can get dressed, can buckle him or herself up in the car, and can carry on an intelligent conversation. Could life possibly get any better? A friend of mine just told me I was crazy, that the golden age is actually 5 to 10, but I've got my doubts. They're just so cute right now, and they still cuddle. And I can plan their learning with very little effort. I haven't yet had to relearn the capitals or the parts of the cell. Really, can't they just stay this age for a while?

Want to Get Rid of Head Lice? Meet the Lice Terminator!

2011-12-19T15:04:00.002-05:00

I hate lice. I really, really hate lice. I have nightmares about lice. Those little b@$%t^&*s have been ripping through this community so efficiently that I wonder if the drug store isn't planting them on the hat rack at school. (Just kidding. Our friendly neighborhood pharmacy wouldn't do such a thing.)

But seriously, this is a real problem. It seems like every day a new flyer comes home from school, warning us about lice, and telling us how to get rid of lice. Well, if you've ever dealt with them yourselves, you know how to get rid of head lice. You go to the drug store and spend $25 on lice shampoo (i.e., pesticides) and you come back home and you massage it into your child's head. Then you wait ten minutes, enduring the child's screams, telling her that her head is not burning, and that she's almost done. But don't leave it on for more then 10 minutes because then her hair will fall out. Seriously.

Then, when you're done with the shampoo, you get to massage sticky gel into her hair and rip all of her hair out with a fancy delousing comb. I'm telling you, it's like something out of a horror movie.

And I've only recently learned that IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THIS WAY. Please, allow me to introduce you to the Lice Terminator, the natural head lice treatment. This simple device heats up a child's (or adult's) hair and kills all the lice and eggs. One time. No chemicals. No screaming child. No reinfestation because the lice are evolving into "super lice" that are immune to the pesticide shampoos.

I am so impressed with this product (and its price), that I'm angry that so many of us have spent so much money on the shampoos. I know one woman with seven children, and when they got lice, they practically had to mortgage their home to pay for the products. The Lice Terminator costs about $40, and you only need to buy it once. It continues working, and you can use it on every child in the neighborhood! You can hand it down to future generations. It could become a family heirloom!

Okay, I'm getting a bit ridiculous, but I really am excited about this product, so I just wanted to pass it on to you all, just in case your kids are bringing flyers (or worse) home from school too. Check out this YouTube video. It's a little long, but it will show you how simple the process is, and it's informative too! :)

And just in case you're not impressed enough yet, you should also know that the company that makes the Lice Terminator will also donate a portion of their proceeds to breast cancer research. Wouldn't the Lice Terminator make a great Christmas gift! Ha!

All Caught Up! How Can this Be?!

2011-12-12T10:06:00.001-05:00

I started writing and publishing long, long ago. But it was only about two years ago that I stopped teaching to parent and write full time. That was the spring of 2010. Since then, I've been a bit crazy, and I haven't seen the top of my desk. I've been juggling too many projects at once every single day. And I'm not a multitasker.

Anyway, I wanted to take a moment to celebrate with you, because today, I woke up for the first time since my last day in the classroom, all caught up. That's right--I can see the top of my desk and my schedule doesn't look like a scribble pad. I can hardly believe it. It feels so weird. I don't have to panic. I don't have to stress. I'm all caught up. How can this be? Maybe it's time to look into those online college classes again. Or maybe not...

It's not that I have nothing to do. I have a huge project that I should probably get started on today, especially if I'm going to buy any Christmas presents, but the point is, the project isn't due yesterday.

So, all you writers out there--it can be done! You can catch up! Just keep plugging away and someday you might end up with a Monday like this, where you can take a moment to do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Sigh. Okay. Back to work. :)

What is Google+ and Do I Need It?

2011-12-10T10:23:00.002-05:00

The House of Hope--Book Review

2011-11-30T16:34:00.005-05:00

Litfuse Publicity Group gave me a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. You can read other bloggers' reviews here.

I have just finished reading the most amazing book. The House of Hope by Elisabeth Gifford is eye-opening and inspiring and has left me wanting to adopt another child.

The book took me longer than usual to read because I stopped to cry on nearly every page. I wept for nearly every child that the book mentions, and this weeping was only for the experience of reading about the children. The servants in this book have helped over 1,000 children in need. This just boggles my mind.

In 1998, Robin (an engineer) and Joyce (a doctor) Hill were enjoying a comfortable life as expatriates in China, when they were led by God to give up their life and open a foster home for children with medical needs. And immediately, they began to take in children.

And though they have helped hundreds of children, they have loved each child as their own. They have helped them get the necessary medications, surgeries, nutrition, and love, and then, they help them get adopted. Hope Foster Home has grown into New Hope Foundation, and children's lives are being saved as I type and as you read. This is just such an incredible, miraculous example of what God will do with willing servants. Thank you, Robin and Joyce, for all that you've done, and thank you for providing such an awesome example to the rest of us.

One hundred percent of the proceeds from the sale of this book will go to the Hope Foster Home. You can buy the book from Amazon or better yet, from Better World Books.

The publisher is sponsoring a $50 "GET / GIVE" GIVEAWAY: One winner will receive a $50 Amazon gift certificate for themselves AND $50 will be given in the winner's name to Hope Foster Home. The giveaway is open to both you and your blog readers.

To enter, all you have to do is send a tweet (using #HFH) about The House of Hope or share about it on Facebook!

If you tweet, we'll capture your entry when you use #HFH. If you share it on Facebook or your blog, just email us and let us know (ckrumm@litfusegroup.com). Easy.

Not sure what to tweet/post? Here's an idea:

TWEET THIS: Couple gives all to rescue babies in China! 100% proceeds go to #HopeFosterHome http://ow.ly/7qR3e RT 4 $50 to @amazon & $50 to #HFH
(must use hashtage #HFH to be entered)

AND/OR

FACEBOOK THIS: The House of Hope: Couple abandons a comfortable life to rescue abandoned children. Robin and Joyce Hill have helped over 1300 Chinese orphans with severe medical problems. Purchase a copy for everyone you know. 100% of proceeds go to Hope Foster Home! Learn more here: http://litfusegroup.com/blogtours/text/13438821 Share this for a chance to get a $50 Amazon.com GC and $50 in your name to Hope Foster Home! Click For Details.

How to Get Your Short Stories Published

2011-11-25T12:13:00.001-05:00

I am so excited to present to you this guest post, written by Chris Fielden, a published author who enjoys sharing writing tips based on experience with other writers and using his own short stories as case studies to illustrate how to win short story competitions.

How to Get Your Short Stories Published

When I decided to start writing, I strode forth on a path many writers seem to walk:

Write book
Approach agents
Face rejection

The path is long. It winds from the stunning Mountains of Creativity, down towards the desolate Sea of Self Doubt. If you get to the end without throwing yourself from a cliff, the view is a disappointment and the sea smells of wee. You’re then faced with two choices:

Grow skin as thick as Godzilla and think of an alternative route
Build a sandcastle on the Beach of Woe, turn your Doom Siren up to max, then curl up and cry in a sandy corner for the rest of eternity.

While seriously considering the latter, in the end I concluded that the former offered a more appealing future. After the inevitable arrival of hindsight, beginning a career in writing by completing and selling a novel seemed a little like realising you like climbing mountains and then deciding that your first project will be scaling Everest wearing only flip flops and a pair of Speedos.

Many writers, including the likes of Philip K Dick, Roald Dahl, Stephen King and Terry Pratchett, started out by writing short stories. These fine gentlemen seem to know what they’re doing, so I decided to follow their example and do the same.

Short Stories

Short stories are a lot easier to sell than books. They also require far less work and you don’t have to neglect your family and friends or turn to alcohol, drugs or tree-hugging (each to their own...) to complete one. Most importantly, they offer an excellent chance to share your work and gain feedback from editors, competition judges and readers.

There are many short story competitions which offer the opportunity of becoming a published author. Yes, truly, a realistic opportunity; something which might actually happen before you die.

My first published story was printed in Writers’ Forum magazine after winning their monthly short story competition. It’s a well circulated and widely read magazine and, if you win, three hundred quid is yours for the spending. I won by subscribing to the magazine and learning what appealed to the judges. Each month, the three winning stories are published and the head judge, Sue Moorcroft, gives detailed reasons for her choice of winners. I learnt from what I read in the magazine – they offer many writing tips and Sue seemed to like stories of all genres with hopeful endings. So, I wrote a few stories with this in mind. My third entry into the competition won. I was published. If I can do it, you can do it. I’m a drummer. It really can’t be that difficult...

The Different Types of Short Story Competition – Where to Start

There are many annual competitions, including some highly prestigious ones with some monster prizes, like the Bridport Prize or the BBC National Short Story Award. The problem with these competitions is that thousands of people enter them. This means, the likelihood of winning them, even if you write a Shakespearian masterpiece, is slim. The advantage of competitions like Writers’ Forum, which is run monthly, is that, just by nature of its regularity, there are far less stories to compete against. Therefore, your chances of winning are increased. And if you don’t win, rather than waiting a year, you can enter again the next month. In addition to this, when entering short story competitions of this nature, you can often request a critique for a small fee (usually around a fiver).

This is incredibly useful – it tells you what the judges liked / disliked about your story and gives you ideas on how to improve it. You can then make the improvements and enter it in other competitions – just because one judge doesn’t think a story is a winner, doesn’t mean others will agree. This is where the Godzilla skin comes in useful – just keep on going and never listen to the Demon of Doubt, who whistles his merry tune inside every writer’s head from time to time.

Writers’ Forum is the only reputable monthly competition I’m aware of, but there are other quarterly competitions, like Scribble Magazine and the Brighton COW short story competition. Both these are excellent competitions to start you on the road to publication. They are run by friendly people who want to engage with writers. Scribble is particularly good as the readers choose the winners each quarter. So, if your story is published in the magazine, the next month, readers comments are printed explaining why they have chosen their favourites and the winner is revealed. It’s a great way to gain constructive criticism and writing tips from other writers, and also gives you the opportunity to play God, influencing the outcome and giving your opinion on the stories in the magazine. This is valuable as it forces you to think like a judge. What makes a story stand out? Why is it good? You can then unleash your newfound perspective onto your own short stories and create something better because of it.

Keep writing my friends. Never give up. I’ve had three stories published so far this year. If I can do it, you can!

Puppies vs. Babies--The Ultimate Cuteness Showdown!

2011-11-17T22:01:00.001-05:00

This post brought to you by Puppies vs. Babies. All opinions are 100% mine.

Puppies vs. Babies

I challenge you to find someone who loves dogs more than I do, but when it comes to comparing puppy cuteness to that of our human infants, I still feel I need to side with the humans.

Although, I guess it really depends on the baby. And the puppy. Maybelle was pretty tough to beat when she was a wee one, and my daughter looked a little like an alien.

The fun news is that you get to vote! In fact, we all do, thought it's really not a fair contest unless the dogs get to vote too. From now until November 23rd, you are invited to vote for the cutest puppy or baby. The winning puppy or baby will get $5,000. I ask you, what's a puppy going to do with five grand? (Although, Maybelle probably has spent that much in show fees--don't tell my husband.)

It doesn't cost anything to enter this Puppies vs. Babies online contest, it's just all in good fun, and who couldn't use some more cuteness in their day? So go vote right now, because we both know that if you wait till you have time, you will never have time!

Feel free to leave a comment and tell me who you voted for. I want to share, but I don't want to sway your vote!

How to Clean Your Home in Under an Hour

2011-11-16T08:17:00.000-05:00

I am thankful to be able to say that this is the craziest writing week I've ever had. I've got deadlines coming out of my ears. And you can tell by looking at my house. So I am also thankful to be able to share with you this guest post: How to Clean Your Home in Under an Hour! Good luck! ;)

When you want to accomplish a task quickly, it's best to have a system, and cleaning your home is no exception. Start upstairs if there is more than one level, and work your way down. If only one level, start at the back and work your way forward, and never go back into a room once you've completed it and moved on. Here are some additional tips to help you develop a system for getting your house clean and tidy in as little time as possible.

Bring an empty clothes basket with you to each room so that you can use it to keep your cleaning supplies organized. You'll also use it to remove items that are found in places they don't belong to their proper location. Separate your home into the following target areas and then proceed as instructed:

Bedrooms
10 minutes per room
Begin by sweeping through the room and pulling the dirty linens from the bed and placing them in the hamper. Take a look around at the various surfaces and gather any items that are out of place. Return them to their proper location if they belong in the bedroom, and if not place them in the basket so that you can take them with you when you move on to the next target area. Empty the wastebasket and then make the bed. Next move on to the dusting. Use a dry cloth, preferably microfiber, and start with the corner furthest away from the door and work your way around the room in a clockwise motion until the dusting is complete. Leave your basket by the door and vacuum the room in the same pattern working your way back to the door--and you're done.
Bathroom(s)
9 minutes per room
Begin by treating surfaces with an all-purpose cleaning spray so that the solution will have time to work while you complete other tasks. Put your rubber gloves on and clean the toilet. Use baking soda and a scrub brush to clean the toilet bowl then wipe down the seat, tank, and other surfaces with a damp cloth or sponge using an anti-bacterial cleanser. Return to the surfaces that you spritzed earlier and polish the sink(s), counter tops, mirror, etc., then move on to the bath/shower. Last of all, sweep and mop the floor--and you're done.
Kitchen
12 minutes
Begin by loading and starting the dishwasher. Then move on to remove any clutter and items that don't belong in the room. Use the all-purpose cleaning spray to treat the sinks and stove top and then move on to the counter tops. Wipe them down brushing any crumbs onto the floor, and then go back to the areas you pre-treated. Scrub and polish the sink and appliances, and then move on to the floor. Begin sweeping in the corner farthest from the door and sweep your way out of the room, then return and follow the same pattern with the mopping--and you're done.
Living Room
15 minutes
Begin by making a sweep through the room to quickly put away remote controls, CDs, magazines, etc., and then move on to the dusting. Following the same clockwise technique as described above, work your way around the room. Next, polish any surfaces that need attention such as the television screen and computer monitor, and then move on to the vacuuming. Start in the corner farthest away from the door and vacuum your way out of the room--and you're done.

Follow these tips and techniques as a blueprint for cleaning your own home in a quick and efficient manner. Adapt it to your own specific needs and enjoy the extra time that your new cleaning system provides you.

This is a guest post from Marie Hopkins, a freelance writer for Advance Me Inc. who provide merchant cash advances to small and medium-sized businesses.

How Many Hours Does a Freelance Writer Work?

2011-11-06T06:29:00.000-05:00

How many hours do freelance writers work? Well the simple answer is, "depends on how much money you want to make." But we all know that nothing about writing is simple.

You've probably heard people say that they quit their full-time jobs so that they could stay home and make a thousand bucks a week while working only 5 hours. Well, it is possible to make a thousand bucks in a week, I've done it, but I worked a heck of a lot longer than 5 hours. More like 50.

And you've probably heard about Tim Ferriss, the writer/ entrepreneur/time management guru, who wrote The 4-Hour Work Week. And he's a genius, no doubt about it. But then there's the rest of us. :) As usual, I can only speak for myself and the other writers whom I am close with. And we work a lot. Because we want to be able to live a certain way and to be able to provide for our children. If you want to make a thousand dollars a week, you will need to put in the hours.

For most of us, writing is time-consuming. When I worked full-time, I probably only wrote for about 10 hours a week. Now, I write full-time, and aim for 40 hours a week. But freelancing sets you free. You don't have to listen to me, or to anyone else. You work when you want to work. It's up to you to manage your own time, make your own plan, and exercise your own discipline.

Is there a Monster in your closet?

2011-11-01T12:09:00.000-04:00

Is there a Monster in your closet? There should be. If you haven't done so already, go to Monster.com, and fill out a personal profile. You can add your education, interests, work experience, and skills in just a few minutes. You can even link your Monster profile to your LinkedIn profile! (If you aren't already on LinkedIn, then do that too!) Then, Monster will send you personalized emails any time a job that might interest you pops up on their site. Happy hunting!

Writing Jobs for Moms

2011-10-20T16:33:00.000-04:00

This is Seamy, my office assistant.

5 Minutes for Mom maintains a decent job board for writing moms here. Most, if not all, of these jobs are listed from "bidding websites," but it still might be worth a look if you're looking for something to write!

Zombie Church & $50 Amazon Giveaway!

2011-10-17T23:33:00.000-04:00

A zombie is a dead person acting like an alive person. Not really dead, not really alive, just ... undead. Sound like anyone you know? When I first started this book, I feared being bored, because in this case, Edwards was preaching to the choir. I've been hiding from churches for most of my life. I've been to many, and I've rarely been greeted by Spirit and love, or either. I've usually, as a visitor to a new church, been treated with judgment, scrutiny, and a stiff, cold breeze.

But Edwards had much more to say. He went far beyond a critique. He also examined why these life-vacuums happen, and what the answer is. The answer, of course, is Jesus, is love. Less legalism, more life. Only he says it much better, and offers practical ways individuals can affect a turn in the right direction. It's not enough to just complain about church. We are members of the Body, and we're not called to hide in our homes. We can fix the problem. Or rather, the Holy Spirit can fix it, if we will just let Him.

This is one of the most well-written books I've read in some time. It is poignant and purposeful. It is poetic and lyrical. It is truly a beautiful read, at moments reminding me of C.S. Lewis. Most importantly, the book is inspiring, and has lit a fire under my butt: stop complaining, get back out there and live for Jesus. I can't fix anything sitting on the couch and being critical. Thank you, Tyler Edwards and thank you Holy Spirit, for making such good use of Tyler's keyboard!

Giveaway:

To enter for the giveaway of a $50 Amazon card, tweet or post to Facebook about Zombie Church.

If you enter with a tweet, be sure to use (@litfuse) so your entry will be counted. If you enter with a Facebook post, just send an email to info@litfusegroup.com letting them know!

Here are some sample tweets/statuses you could use:
for Twitter: Zombie Church by Tyler Edwards - a fair-minded & tenderhearted critique of the church http://ow.ly/6Nv05 @litfuse RT for $50 to @amazon

for Facebook: Don’t miss Edwards - a fair-minded and tenderhearted critique of the church. http://litfusegroup.com/blogtours/text/13424384 Written for the discouraged, disenfranchised, and anyone unsatisfied with their same-old church routine, Zombie Church challenges readers to turn away from hollow religious practices, which characterize “zombie Christianity,” and turn toward a radical relationship with Jesus. Share this for a chance at $50 to Amazon.com

About Tyler Edwards:
Tyler Edwards is the pastor at Cornerstone Christian Church in Joplin, Missouri. He graduated from Ozark Christian College with bachelor’s degrees in both Biblical Literature and Christian Ministry. He has written articles for Lookout Magazine, spoken at various campus ministry events in Missouri, and served overseas in Mbale, Uganda.

Read other reviews of the book here.

Or just order the book here. I highly recommend it, and after you've finished reading it, you can donate it to your church library for a tax write-off!

Litfuse Publicity Group gave me a copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

10 Reasons to Self-Publish

2011-10-15T17:24:00.000-04:00

As you may well know, 99% of the time, I am opposed to self-publishing. I know that it's easy. I know that it's fast. I know that everyone else is doing it, but these are not good reasons. I've written a list of reasons why I can see self-publishing might be a good idea, and you'll notice that the list is short.

You have a good reason to be in a hurry. Maybe you're dying. Maybe the topic of your book is time-sensitive. Maybe someone else, your ideal reader, is dying. I'm not suggesting that being in a hurry is a good reason to rush into publishing, unless you have a really good reason to be in that hurry.
Your only motivation is gifting your book to your friends. If all you want is a lovely presentation of your craft to give to your mom or your grandchildren, then go ahead and have a small press run printed.
You are rich and you don't care about anything else. You're just looking for an easy way to spend some money.
You don't ever want a career in academia and you don't care about critics.
You don't really care if anyone ever reads your books. (Because even if you do give it to your mom, if it hasn't been edited properly, she might not be able to get through it.)
You don't need or want distribution. You don't want to be in bookstores. Yes, you can always pay to have your self-published book listed on Amazon, but getting that money back through sales would be a lot like winning the lottery.
You are 100% sure that you are done with revisions. I have received self-published books as gifts and for reviews, and I have NEVER seen one that was free of errors. Never. Ever. Even Walt Whitman kept revising his own self-published book, which is expensive, and causes chaos for future Language Arts classes everywhere.
You don't want an editor, or you are willing to pay for one. Many people think they don't need any editor, but if there is one thing I am sure of in this world, it's that every writer needs an editor. period.
Your book is so controversial that no publisher will touch it.
You're Walt Whitman and it's still 1860.

Sorry if I'm being a bit flip, or too sarcastic, but I truly want what's best for you, and I just can't believe that self-publishing is it, unless of course, one or more of the above reasons apply to you. If you are a good writer, you will find a publisher, and there is nothing wrong with a small publisher that doesn't pay much. If you are not a good writer, the answer is to hone your craft or to find something else to be good at--the answer is not to publish bad writing and send it into the world.

Tweeps for Writers

2011-10-14T11:41:00.001-04:00

If you are a writer and you're not on Twitter, cut it out. Twitter rocks, and it is a great way to connect with other people, i.e., "tweeps." I've met and interacted with awesome people on Twitter, have gleaned wisdom, perhaps even shared some, and have even gotten jobs from a simple tweet.

Here are some tweeps I think writer-moms should follow:

Me. Duh. @Robin_Merrill
Robert Lee Brewer @RobertLeeBrewer
Nathan Bransford @NathanBransford
Blood Writes @BloodWrites
Writers' Digest @WritersDigest
Erin Reel @TheLitCoach
Catrina Taylor Rudd @TheLadyWrites
The Cuckleburr Times @CuckleburrTimes
Jon Winokur @AdviceToWriters
Susan M. Heim @ParentingAuthor
Rachelle Gardner @RachelleGardner
Todd Rutherford @PublishingGuru
K.M. Weiland @KMWeiland

There. Lucky 13. I could go on, but I really have to get back to work. I will continue to update this list, and please add your favorite tweeps in the comments. Thanks for hanging out with me today. Happy tweeting!

Beware the Vanity Press

2011-10-09T07:43:00.003-04:00

Vanity Press: a press that publishes works at the author's expense.

I'm not talking about self-publishing. Self-publishing means simply that a writer pays someone to print the book. It is all done up front--you know what you're paying for and it really isn't all that much.

A vanity press is different. A vanity press is usually sneaky. More like a scam, or a trick. A vanity press will flatter you and tell you they really want to publish you, but because of low funds, they need a little help. Or, they will publish you for free, but you have to buy the book if you ever want to see yourself published in it.

There's nothing illegal about it. And it's happened to the best of us.

Vanity presses prey on the young, the old, and the insecure. As a high school teacher, I lost count of the number of students who came to me, incredibly excited because they'd entered some online contest promising lots of money or scholarship, and they were offered publication. And it was up to me to crush their dreams. Okay, well, maybe not crush, but gently deflate. I would say, "Congratulations. This is an important early step in your writing career. But I've read the fine print, and I noticed that the book costs $65." I've also heard from several grandmas, who late in life, have written and published a poem! And they have a $65 book to show for it!

In all honesty, it's not that bad. If you really want to have one poem or story published, and you don't care how, you can get your work published. But realize that the publication will likely not be of good physical quality, the work you're published alongside definitely won't be of quality, and no one will ever read your work. Your work will likely be pubished in a tiny font on the same page as many other writers. And you have to pay for it.

It's happened to the best of us. It happened to me TWICE. This is why I know.

The first time, I sent five poems to a "magazine" that I found listed in Poet's Market. I had never seen this publication (my first mistake) and I was mass-submitting (my second mistake) to publications that said they were open to new writers. I quickly received a response (which is also suspicious--nothing in the publishing world is quick, ever) that said the editors LOVED my poems and would love to publish them. There's just one catch. If I wanted to see my poems in print, I had to buy a copy of the book for $10. This seemed to me like such a small price to pay that I gladly sent the man a check. And guess what I got. Literally: about a hundred photocopied pages stapled together. My (fairly horrible) poems were published alongside many other horrible poems, cut and pasted (with scissors and glue), margins askew, typos gallore, and I was embarrassed. Not only had I been suckered, but I had also ruined my chances to have these (albeit terrible) poems published in a legit journal, because I'd given this vanity press first rights.

The second time followed soon after. I wanted a chapbook so bad. A chapbook is a small collection from a writer, published inexpensively by a small press. These are very popular among indie writers, and a very fun and cool thing to do. I used to make real money peddling my books at readings, but this came much later. My first chapbook was a mistake. I wasn't ready, and my poems were embarrassing. But in my defense, at least I didn't go looking for this opportunity.

No, this opportunity came looking for me. I submitted some poems to a journal, and the journal wrote back (quickly) accepting my poems and telling me they were really impressed with my writing and would like to publish a chapbook of my work. I was desperate for validation, and I bit. There was only one catch: there was a $35 reading fee. No problem. I wrote the check and mailed my manuscript. I also needed cover art, so I asked a friend, who created a lovely painting, which we assumed would be photographed and centered on the cover, you know, like cover art!!!

When I got the "proof," the art had been photocopied in black and white and looked like an amateur sketch. My artist friend didn't want her name attached to it. The proof also featured about 50 typos, even though my manuscript had not. It was seriously in awful shape. And if I wanted any changes to my "proof," I needed to pay $95. At this point, I got suspicious, but I was already in too deep. I had told everyone I had a chapbook coming! So, I wrote the check.

My "payment" for this awesome publishing opportunity was a whopping 10 copies of the chapbook. After I had invested over a hundred bucks in this chapbook, that's all I got: 10 copies. I couldn't even make my money back. And this press offered no distribution. There was no way a potential reader (yeah, right) could find my work unless they got it from me. And I only had 10 copies! So, of course, I needed more. And I asked if I could buy more. And was told, sure, for $4 per book. Now, I could not, in good conscience, sell these buggers for more than $3 each at readings, so I was damned either way. I ended up buying more copies, selling them all, and taking a giant loss, all so that I could get my work into potential readers' hands.

I am so embarassed of the poems in this book!!! I dread the day when I see one of these early chapbooks at a lawn sale.

Anyway, the point of the story is: a vanity press preys on people like me, people who haven't polished their craft.

It shouldn't cost anything to be a writer (other than your time and sanity). When you are ready, someone will publish you, without charging you for the honor. Of course, there are reasons to self-publish, but self-publishing is different, you have 100% of the control, and it is usually far cheaper than vanity publishing. If you are desperate to publish, go for a self-publishing option.

My mother always said, "If it's too good to be true, it is." I hate to sound like a doomsayer, but I'm just trying to protect you. And it would also be nice to put these crooks out of business.

To Work or Not to Work--On Sundays

2011-10-02T08:54:00.000-04:00

It's Sunday.

In many ways, Sunday is a freelancing mom's dream. Dad is home to watch the kiddos. Not much else going on.

Except it's Sunday. The Lord's day. Family time.

Should mom really be hidden away in her office?

I once read somewhere that freelancers should never communicate with clients on Sundays, because then clients will always expect them to be available on Sundays. Which might be wise advice. Except that most clients will expect you to be available on Sundays anyway. And in this global community, Sunday is really just another day.

So, is it worth taking a stand? Is it worth it to keep Sunday sacred? Or should I just be practical--we need the money, I have the work, let's get it done.

I hope you weren't reading this expecting an answer, because I don't have one. I have said in the past that Sundays were off limits. I have taken the high road. But then the backlog starts screaming at me. And then the checkbook starts harmonizing with the backlog and it suddenly just seems silly to spend my Sundays resting.

Any thoughts?

The Work at Home Mom Myth

2011-09-29T10:27:00.000-04:00

I'm starting to think there may not be any such thing as a "work at home mom." Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that every mom is a work at home mom--it's just that some work at home moms share the duties with a childcare provider.

You see, I stopped teaching full-time to write full-time, so that I could be "home with my children." Which is a wonderful theory. And yes, one can make as much money writing as teaching, more even, except for the, um, you know, children.

I won't speak for you, but all of the children I know are rather time-consuming. And if I am going to earn an income similar to my teaching income, then I can't sleep--ever. I have to write when my children are sleeping, because when they are awake, I am teaching them to pee in the potty, teaching them to count, washing their diapers, mopping the floors, keeping them from eating crayons, feeding them, and the list goes on and on.

And yes, some work at home moms find repreive when their little ones go off to school, except for those, you know, crazy homeschooling moms. And even when your kids do go to school, you are still going to be driving them all over tarnation and volunteering, and all that fun.

I guess my point is, if you are a working outside the home mom, and you are thinking you'd rather be a write at home mom, realize that it's not a simple equation. You might still have to hire some help. Or give up sleeping.

And if you are a work at home mom who wants to write at home, please don't think that this is a simple equation. If you are a mom, you don't have much time to write, if any. I remember typing while nursing, and that was not an ideal situation.

Motherhood is a full-time job, especially if you do it well. If you want to be a write at home mom, it is possible, but it is also difficult, so be easy on yourself, and get some help!

Should Freelancers Charge by the Hour or by the Project?

2011-09-28T07:46:00.001-04:00

Should freelancers charge by the hour or by the project? In other words, should you, as a freelancer, charge your clients a flat fee for doing what they need done, or do you quote them an hourly rate and then figure it out at the end?

The good news is, this is entirely up to you. There is no industry standard, that I know of. I've seen good writers do it either way. However, your client might prefer one way to the other, so be prepared to be flexible.

The Pros of Charging by the Hour:
Charging by the hour is great when you are just starting out. You might not know how much work a project is really going to be, so if you charge by the hour, you're covered. Similarly, if you are venturing into new territory, you may want to charge by the hour. I had written for several years before I was asked to do my first press kit, and I had no idea how long that would take me, so I charged by the hour. An hourly rate is also good if you are working with a, ahem, cough, particularly needy client. I once worked for a client who honestly believed that nothing was good enough. Ever. She demanded revision on top of revision. She would rewrite an article herself and then ask me to fix the grammar, which was more time-consuming than just writing the thing myself. I would have gone broke if I didn't charge by the hour.

The Pros of Charging a Flat Fee:
Clients often prefer a flat fee, as they know what they are committing to. I often prefer a flat fee because it prevents me from being chained to a clock. I like to carry my projects around with me and work on them a little here and a little there. Keeping track of every minute can quickly become tiresome. Most freelancers agree that charging a flat fee will make you more money in the end. The better you are, the faster you'll work. If it only takes you an hour to research and write a press release, and you only charge $40 per hour, then you're going to make $40 writing a press release, when most people charge at least $100 for this task. If you had said that you charge $100 an hour, you may have scared off your client, but asking for a flat fee usually doen't have the same terrifying effect. One more plus: sometimes we moms have good hours and bad hours. Sometimes a 500 word article will take me an hour. Sometimes it will take me three, because I'm exhausted and I have to keep stopping to clean up potty accidents. So, charging by a flat fee can be more fair to the client.

This is not an all or nothing situation. You can do it both ways for a while and see what works best for you. And if you do end up charging a flat rate, you can certainly base it on your hourly rate. If you need to write a grant proposal, and you think it will take you five hours, then you can quote a flat fee based on your hourly rate times five.

It's your business. In the end, it's up to you!

How Much Do Freelance Writers Charge?

2011-09-26T09:12:00.003-04:00

Note: No turtles were harmed in the shooting of this photo.

So, really, how much do freelance writers charge? And how much should they charge? Or, what you are really wondering, how much should you charge?

Well, I might not be the one to ask, because I'm a pretty cheap date. I'm also a pretty, cheap date. Ah, the power of a comma.

Anyway, I never started out to underbid anyone. When I chose my rate, I basically just guessed. I looked at what I made per hour in my last few careers, and I have landed on a rate of $30 per hour.

This is the lowest rate I've seen from a U.S. writer with qualifications similar to my own. Like I said, you might not want to listen to me. Or better yet, listen to me and then choose a rate you are comfortable with, and if that rate is higher than mine, then great.

At this point, I have a dozen long-term clients, most of whom are Christian pastors / publications / presses / organizations, and I just don't want to charge more than I do, especially of a non-profit.

However, when figuring out your rate, you might consider a few factors, other than what you've made in other jobs, because freelancing is probably unlike any other job you've had.

Unlike a normal 9 to 5 job, much of your freelance writing business will be done off the clock, so you will want to account for this "unpaid" time, e.g., marketing, invoicing, networking.

Here's one method: Figure out how much you need/want to gross in one week. Then, figure out how many hours you want to work. Then divide the former by the latter and voila, you have an hourly rate. For example, if you need to gross $400 per week, but you only want to work 10 hours, then you will need to charge $40 per hour. Of course, this doesn't account for all those hidden hours freelancers work.

Here's another method: How much do you want to gross annually? Take that number and divide it by 1,000 and that's your hourly rate. If I want to gross $40,000 a year, then I need to charge $40 per hour. Funny that I keep coming back to that number, huh?

Another method: Surf the web, looking for freelancers with qualifications similar to yours, and see how much they charge. I know and respect one freelancer who charges $45 per hour. I've also seen the websites of many freelancers who charge upwards of $100 per hour. This just seems insane to me, but like I said, what do I know?

You'll also want to take into account the absense of benefits. Your other jobs likely provided insurance, retirement, etc., and freelancing usually doesn't.

You might also consider the cost of living in different areas. The cost of living is fairly low where I live (compared to the rest of the U.S.) so the same dollar goes a little further here, but that may not be the case where you live. You might also consider the cost of living where your client is located. I used to have a client from San Fransisco, and the dollar was very different there. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, use this cost of living calculator!)

For me, the biggest factor is just being fair. Yes, occasionally, I may shortchange myself, but I feel that's far better than cheating a client.

For more information from the experts, you might want to check out this article and chart from Writer's Market.

For even more fascinating information, stay tuned for future posts: Should Freelance Writers Charge by the Project or by the Hour? and How Much Should Freelance Editors Charge? I know, it doesn't get much more exciting than this, right? ;)

What About Article Directories?

2011-09-23T09:28:00.000-04:00

A few of you have asked me, "Are article directories good for writers?"

Just what is the deal with Ezinearticles, Searchwarp, Submit Your Article, Suite 101, Buzzle, Go Articles, Amazines ... there are more than I can name, and new ones appear every day.

First, the disclaimer, I am not an expert on article directories, am mostly opposed to them, and you might not want to listen to me at all. There are people out there claiming to make thousands of dollars via these directories, but I've never actually met one of these people.

What is an article directory exactly?

An article directory is usually a monstrous collection of mostly poorly written articles. People looking for "content" for their websites can go to an article directory, find your article, and use it on their own website. I have no idea why they would want to do this, as Google recognizes duplicate content and penalizes for it. But anyway, should they use your article, they are supposed to give you credit.

I really only have one story to relate: a jewelry store paid me to write an article about jewelry and link back to their site. I submitted the article to one of these directories. Soon, it was reposted on another blog, without my name attached, and much more importantly, without the store's link. That link was the store's sole benefit from this marketing strategy. The jewelry store owner was upset, and contacted me. I contacted the article directory and was basically told, Sorry, crap happens.

Now, the chances of your articles even being found in these directories is needle-in-a-haystack slim. Once they are found, you have no control over how they are used, and your name could end up on any type of website. Use your imagination. And you have no recourse. Or, your article could be used without your name and you get no credit. And you have no recourse.

Some writers go this route so that they have some published work to link to. But many, many, many, if not all, editors and clients recognize these directories for what they are. Being published on these sites does not make you a great writer. Some of these articles are written in illegible broken English.

Can you make money writing for article directories?

The other temptation is that some of these sites pay, such as Suite 101. (And this is one that does enforce a quality standard.) These sites pay a percentage of revenue they generate by advertising on your page. So, you have to write an article that interests people, SEO optimize it so that people find it, and then hope people do. You will then get paid. Usually, you will get paid pennies, and maybe some nickels. And yes, there is nothing wrong with nickels, but do you want to write for nickels, when you can write for an actual magazine for an actual $50 check? I just like to think of things in terms of hourly rate, and if it takes you an hour to write an article that pays out $0.10 in its lifetime, that's not a terrific hourly rate.

The other thing to consider with article directories is SEO. To get the most out of article directories, a writer needs to know her SEO. And while this is fairly easy to learn, it is still time consuming, and you might not be ready for all that yet.

So, why would anyone write for an article directory?

Well, when done in bulk, article directories offer an opportunity for article marketing. People submit a hundred articles with the same keyword-anchored links, and hope that Google will recognize those links and put their brand in organic search results. This is a time-consuming marketing effort, but if you are paying a writer a dollar an hour, then it can be a fairly simple marketing effort.

You could, in theory, use one of these article directories to market yourself, but it would take a lot of unpaid time, a lot of words and work, and discerning editors may dismiss you for wasting your time. Better to build your portfolio with paying gigs or working for non-profits or writing your own blog.

One more time, feel free to ignore me. You might find article directories hold your secret to life, but I doubt it. ;~)

The New Art of Momoir

2011-09-20T08:26:00.009-04:00

Momoir: Memoir for Moms. A new genre? One can't have too many! SheWrites is offering a Momoir online class, an online writing course for moms, that begins on October 6. This would be a great chance to hone your craft and network with other writers. The class costs $395. Rumor has it there will be a particular focus on blogging as well!

Freelance Writing is NOT Quick Money

2011-09-19T08:04:00.000-04:00

I love questions. I do. I love to talk about the craft of writing and I love to be helpful. But I've been getting some questions lately that are a little, well, crazy.

Here are a few of them.

I love to write! Can you get me a job?
No. I cannot get you a job. First of all, I have no idea whether or not you can write. Second of all, even if I did "get you a job," that potential client is going to want to see some of your work. So, where is this work? You need to write before you can start writing for hire. You need to write a lot.

Can you teach me to write?
Maybe? If you want to hire me to teach you, then I'll give it a shot, but wouldn't it be easier to just take a writing course at a local community college?

How much money will I make?
I have no idea. How much are you planning to write? If you charge a nickel per word, then you can figure out pretty quickly exactly how much money you will make.

How fast can I get an income?
Pretty slowly actually. I worked full time while building my writing income, and it took me about 10 years before I had a full time income. Sorry if that's not good news, but it's the truth.

How do you find jobs?
I don't mean to be flip, but the same way you find any other jobs. Look in job listings. Look online. Network on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn, and in real life. Hand out your business cards.

I really don't want to be harsh. I want to support people who want to write, but lately, it just seems like everyone thinks that I'm rich and that I did this overnight. And that's just ridiculous. I went to graduate school for Creative Writing for crying out loud. Nothing about this has been easy!

Writing is just like any other career--it's work! It's hard work. It's long hours at a desk, and it's reading and rereading and it's networking and it's a continuous learning process. Even people who write a million dollar novel spent years, possibly hungry years, bringing that novel about.

If you want to write, then by all means, do not let anyone, least of all me, discourage you. But freelance writing is not easy money. Freelance writing is not quick money. And, unless you are one in about 500,000, unless you are a gifted writer who writes a great book, finds a great agent, and a great publisher with a great marketing department, writing will not get you rich.

Writing can pay the bills, but you have to work at it. You have to start at the beginning. You have to write.

Productivity Tips

2011-09-13T06:24:00.003-04:00

Go to the ant, O sluggard. Observe her ways and be wise. ~ Prov. 6:6

I'm not a rich woman. I'm not even trying to be a rich woman. I'm just trying to do good work and pay the bills. And, along the way, I've noticed some things--what helps me make more money and get more work done, and which behaviors inevitably leave me scrambling at the end of the month.

These tips may well be useless. I'm not a financial advisor. I'm not a life coach. I'm just a mom, and here are a few things I've learned.

Figure out when your best time to work is. I spent a long time trying to write at night, after teaching and coaching all day, and then after caring for my children all day. I was exhausted, could hardly think, and found motivation lacking. At one point I realized that it's not really fair to my clients to work on their projects while my brain is sleeping, especially if you're charging by the hour. I found that when I get up early, drink some coffee, and buckle down, I am a lot smarter.
Social media is the enemy of productivity. (Unless of course, your project is social media.) Don't get me wrong--I can tweet with the best of them. I love social media, but I've also noticed that a few minutes on Twitter can quickly turn into the whole morning. Automate as much as you can, using tools like Twitterfeed and Hootsuite (both free). Also, turn off Skype, and all your chats. There are even downloads you can use that will block you from Facebook for a set amount of time.
Don't check your email. I have one friend who tells clients that she will only check her email first thing in the morning and at 4:45. This might be a little extreme, but try to limit yourself. One interesting email can distract you from a task that you need to get done, and one of your clients will always be having an emergency. (With that said, I did lose a client once for not answering her email within the hour, but whatever.)
Don't be a perfectionist. I write this with a grimace on my face, because when it comes to words, I am a perfectionist, and I assure you, I am not in any other arena--ask anyone who has tasted my cooking. I am not saying don't do your best--of course, you should do your best. But I am saying that the poet in me will agonize over an adverb, when the adverb really won't matter at all to the readers of my cupcake blog. I am saying that spending three hours on the color scheme of a blog page will NOT be a lucrative decision. And I've done it. Try to think about what is important. Try to think like a businessperson, not a creative person.
Consider outsourcing. Some freelance writers actually outsource their writing, and you can do this, but I'm talking more along the lines of your other needs: accounting, web design, and marketing. Many of us think we don't have the money to outsource, but if we did a little outsourcing, we would make more money. I know one woman who pays someone to clean her house so that she can work. It might work for you? I just have a messy house. :)
You probably have a Personal Finance System, but do you have one for your writing business? This will save you oodles of time. Set up a separate bank account for your income, and set up whatever bills you pay to automatically get paid. I have so many business related bills! It would take me hours each week to pay them all, if I didn't set it up to do it automatically.
Consider childcare. I know, you likely choose to write for income so that you can spend more time with your children, and that is wonderful, but hiring a babysitter for five hours each week won't make you a bad mom, and will likely put some money in your pockets.
Try to only take jobs that interest you. I know, sometimes this is impossible if you've got a car payment looming, but as much as you can, try to take jobs that you won't mind doing. If you love rabbits, make rabbits your niche. Look for rabbit jobs; then work will be fun. I wrote a plumber's handbook once and thought I was going to die.
Consider white noise. If there are noises in your work space that will distract you, e.g., rope factories next door, constant police sirens, or Dora the Explorer on full volume, turn on a fan or something to block it all out.
Okay, so I'm kind of a hippie, but some people find that diffusing certain essential oils in the room helps them focus. Something about sesquiterpenes. I like lemongrass or orange. Some people use sandelwood, peppermint, rosemary, or frankincense. If you don't have a diffuser, just dab a little oil on the backs of your hands and neck. It helps, I swear!
Don't forget to spend time with God. Start with God. Spend time seeking Him, and then ask Him to help you focus and be more productive. He will help.

Please, please add your own tips to this post, as I am still learning too. And I plan to come back and add more tips as I learn more. For me, it's not about getting rich, but it is about making the most of my time. I don't want to be chained to my desk! Thanks for spending some of your valuable minutes here with me. :)

Blog Hopping Again!

2011-09-03T08:16:00.001-04:00

I found another cool blog hop. You can follow on any network you like! Check it out at Crunchy Frugalista! ;~}

Freelance Writing: 4 Kinds of Clients

2011-09-03T04:00:00.000-04:00

Not to oversimplify things, but I think I've figured out that there are 4 kinds of clients out there. Let me know if I've missed any.

A client is a good writer but doesn't have the time, or doesn't want to spend the time, to do the writing him or herself. These people are usually awesome to work with. They recognize when you've done a good job, and don't have ridiculous expectations, e.g., they've invented a new hair ribbon and expect you to write a press release that will attract attention from the New York Times.
A client can write, but is rich, so figures it's just easier to pay you to do it. Oh my gosh, I love these people! I have known a few in my time, and writing for them was just too easy.
A client can't write as well as you, and knows it. These are the clients I most often work with. They know what they need, they can tell you on the phone, and they are appreciative. It's a healthy relationship.
A client can't write as well as you, but thinks he or she can. Don't take these jobs. These clients will get angry with you if you suggest their ideas could use some improvement. They don't clearly communicate, ever, especially via email. They will criticize, and possibly change your work, and make you look stupid. (Sorry if that was a little harsh.)

Like Free Stuff?

2011-09-02T17:12:00.000-04:00

Okay, this is a crazy easy way to win a free mousepad. Just "like" MouseRug on Facebook, and sign up for a free gift! It's that simple! Never too soon to start shopping for Christmas. ;)

Know What's Better than a Blog Hop?

2011-09-02T16:45:00.002-04:00

An Alexa Blog Hop! Hop on over to Frugal Invitation and see what it's all about, and join on up! See you there! ;)

What To Do When You Don't Have Any Work

2011-09-02T08:09:00.005-04:00

Holy wow, where did the week go? Okay, so you're a writer. And writer's sometimes find themselves without anything to write. Even busy writers sometimes have a bad week. So, here I present to you ...

What To Do When You Don't Have Anything To Do

or maybe we should call it, what to do when you are between clients, or what to do when you don't have any paying jobs. Call it whatever you want, but I have spent my working hours staring at the wall, and that is what not to do.

So, whether you are just getting started and building your client base, or whether you're a seasoned writer between tasks, here's what you can do to keep your ink flowing:

Focus on your spiritual health. Spend some time with your Creator. Spend some time in the Word. Ask Him to open doors for you and to point you in the direction He would have you to go. This really helps. It's happened to me.
Market yourself. Update your website. Tweet that you're available. Interact with people. Get your name out there. Writers are usually really bad about promoting themselves, so make the time to be different!
Clean your office. What? Did she really just say that? Yes, I did. Most of us have brains that work better when our physical environment is more organized. I am most definitely one of those people. If you're not, then don't do this. (Oh, and I'm not telling you to color sort your post-its, but just neaten up a little--get organized!)
Hop genres. So, you are a web copywriter. Write a poem. So you are a press release specialist. Write a short story. You are a blogger. Write some flash fiction. Mix it up a little. Challenge yourself. It will be good for your brain, and no one ever has to see.
Lower your standards. Yep, I said it. If you can't find work, maybe you need to take a job that you don't really want. Maybe it's time to review some dog shampoos. This will help you develop your skills.
Read. Read books about your craft, and just read in general. Good readers make good writers. Great readers make great writers.
Support another writer. Go to a reading or a book signing. Maybe it's karma, or maybe just common sense, but this will be good for you, I promise.
Blog. Do you have a blog? It's a great way to promote yourself, to practice writing, and to write about what you want to write about for a change.
Work for free. Contact your favorite charity and ask how you can help.
Work on your novel. If you don't have a novel under your bed or in your head, it's time to get started!
Enroll in a writer's workshop. Hone your craft! Sometimes these are free! Not only will you likely get smarter, but it's also a chance to network!
Consider looking into a writing class (or maybe even a degree) from a resource such as http://www.onlineschooling.net/.
Take a vacation. That's right, the day may come when you can't take a day off, so enjoy this break now, while you can. Take a day off. Spend it with your kids. Go to the beach. Go to the movies. Whatever flips your switch.
And of course, look for work. Check out Craigslist. Spend some time on LinkedIn.

Okay, now, there's no way you can exhaust that list and still not have anything to do! Happy writing!

Dog Food Coupons!

2011-08-29T18:01:00.001-04:00

This post brought to you by Hills Pet Nutrition. All opinions are 100% mine.

Well, Hurricane Irene is here, so I figured I had better post before I lose power! I have really been concentrating on our grocery bill lately, so this offer caught my attention.

One of the largest items on our grocery bill is certainly dog food. So I was excited to learn about the new mobility challenge from Hill's Pet Nutrition, the makers of Science Diet. Science Diet is one of the top veterinarian-recommended dog foods. You can learn more about it here.

Here is the nutshell: the challenge invites you to feed your dog Healthy Mobility Dog Food for 30 days, and then at the end of the 30 days, report back about how your dog is doing. For participating in the challenge, you get $30 in dog food coupons, and maybe even better ... Hill's will choose 30 winners to receive a year's supply of free dog food. Now, that's something I could live with!

I just signed up and it took me less than a minute. And one of those coupons was for a free Science Diet Simple Essentials Mobility Treats, with the purchase of Healthy Mobility Dog Food. I just love free stuff!

You can learn more about and sign up for Hill's Healthy Mobility Challenge here. You can also like Hill's Pet Nutrition on Facebook!

And of course, don't forget your Hill's Healthy Mobility Coupon!

Words Getting Kicked Out of the Dictionary

2011-08-28T10:07:00.000-04:00

So, we had a post about all the new, annoying words that are being added to dictionaries, so maybe we should pause to grieve for the words being kicked out. Researchers for the Collins Dictionary plan to delete the following entries. It seems they are just too obscure to warrant the ink!

alienism: n. the state of being an alien
bever: n. a snack between meals
brabble: v. to argue stubbornly
deliciate: v. to indulge in feasting
frigorific: adj. causing or producing cold
supererogate: v. to do more than required
younker: n. a youngster

This makes me truly sad! These are great words! I am going to start implementing them into my vocabulary, especially frigorific. That's just fun to say. Go ahead and try it!

My younkers keep accusing me of alienism. Their constant brabbling drives me to deliciate. But of course, to parent is to supererogate, so I try to limit myself to an occasional bever. Otherwise, my clothes won't fit and when those frigorific winter winds hit, I'll be sorry I overindulged!

So, who is with me? Let's stand up for these words! Let them live again!

Amish Values Giveaway and Contest

2011-08-26T06:15:00.002-04:00

I love my title for this post. I wanted to pretend I was giving away Amish values. And I wish I could. Like many people, I have developed an admiration for the Amish. I think that spiritually, they do a lot of things right. So, even though, for many reasons, I haven't done a book review in ages, I just couldn't pass up this free book! That's right! In the interest of full disclosure: Litfuse Publicity Group gave me a copy of Amish Values for Your Family by Suzanne Woods Fisher in exchange for my review, and I was encouraged to give my honest opinion.

I loved this book. The chapters are hyper-short, great for the busy mama, and each offers a glimpse into the way the Amish do things. I was particularly moved by a vignette called "The Rabbit Hutch." Yes, of course I was moved by this one because we have (and I love) rabbits, but I also felt God speaking to me through this story. In the story, a father buys the supplies and patiently allows his son to help him build the rabbit hutch, and his neighbor says, "Wouldn't it just have been easier and cheaper to just buy a rabbit hutch?"

Well, my wonderful husband has been building a new "rabbit castle" in the yard, and as a result, my children have been up late, climbing ladders and pounding nails. And I have split my time between biting my tongue and freaking out because I thought my children were in danger. And I have been that neighbor. I have said those words: just go buy a stupid hutch. It will be fine. It will save time. Then the children can be inside and safe.

Boy, would the Amish be annoyed with my attitude. In the book, the father simply says, "but then my son wouldn't know how to build a rabbit hutch." It suddenly occured to me that my husband is also a parent, that he has instincts, that he has loads to offer my children, and that God will protect them. And if I can't handle my daughter with nails in her mouth, then I need to go inside and find something safe to do. It is likely that this rabbit castle, and all that went with it will be a wonderful memory when my children have children of their own, and a rabbit hutch from Tractor Supply just wouldn't have the same power.

Now, what you really want to hear about... the giveaway!

Giveaway ends 8/31, so hurry!

Suzanne has teamed up with Revell Books to give away a Kindle, and with Bill Coleman (the amazing photographer used on Suzanne’s book covers) to give away a signed Bill Coleman original.

One Grand Prize winner will receive an Amish Values Prize Package (valued at over $200):
* A brand new KINDLE
* A Signed Bill Coleman original
* Amish Values for Your Family (for KINDLE)

Click on one of the icons to enter. Winner will be announced on 9/2 at Suzanne’s blog. Be sure to stop by the blogs on Suzanne’s blog tour – many have copies of Amish Values for Your Family to give away.

But, wait there's more! Suzanne is running a Bill Coleman caption contest during the month of August on her blog. Title one of Bill’s gorgeous photos for a chance to win a print from Bill’s Amish Photo site and/or a copy of Amish Values for Your Family.

This book is only $8.31 on Amazon!

Let's Get Creative!

2011-08-25T05:22:00.011-04:00

Down at the English faculty, creative writing is a serious business for serious people, but writers don’t want to work all of the time. Some simple game play can be fun and inspirational.

GET YOUR NOTEBOOKS OUT, IT’S TIME FOR A FEW GAMES...

I know you’re here to write, and for many of you that is a serious venture not to be undertaken lightly. Good, I’m glad you’re committed, but no matter what you want to write about, or how spontaneous you want to be, it’s always a good idea to practice some training exercises first. Even Miles Davis started off with scales before finding jazz.

FAR FROM AMUSING

How often have you stared at the ceiling appealing to your muse to pop down and bless you with inspiration? When I first started writing I was doing it all the time, spending afternoons alternately begging her to show up and cursing her for never doing so. I eventually realized that the poetic muse is shy. She likes to remain in the wings, out of the limelight. She’ll wait until you’re engrossed in other things, until your attention is elsewhere, then slip an idea into your head and disappear before you even know what’s hit you.

Like her dental cousin, the poetic muse will sometimes appear when you’re asleep: don’t ignore those ideas that cling on after dreams – some excellent poems and stories have had their grounding in the weird world of sleep. If you want to encourage her to turn up more often, however, try playing games. And remember, inspiration isn’t always an explosion. It can be a phrase, an image, even a word looked at from a new angle.

AN EXQUISITE CORPSE

Yes, it sounds creepy and disgusting (it was designed by the surrealists), but this oddly named game is one of the best tricks for developing your powers of expression and picking up strange new ideas. Get together with a few friends, not necessarily all writers. Now write a single line of poetry down at the top of a sheet of paper, fold it over so it can’t be seen, and hand it to the next person who does the same thing. If you get a lot of people taking part you can end up with some fascinatingly surreal poems, but as long as there are at least two of you the results will be worthwhile and hilarious.

One variation on this is for the first player to write down an article and an adjective (the skinny) and fold the paper, the second person then writes a noun (marmoset), the third person writes a transitive verb (runs up), the fourth another article and adjective (the bleeding), and the fifth one last noun (sock). You end up with some rib-tickling sentences. They may not make much sense, but by playing around with random ideas you often find yourself tapping into your unconscious and finding inspiration.

ENGLISH LESSONS

Obviously there won’t be many of you who don’t speak English, but no matter how well you think you know your mother tongue, don’t take it for granted. Those twenty-six letters may seem innocuous but they have the power to create anything you want, anything you can imagine, and your job as a writer is to make the alphabet speak in an original and surprising way.

Think of a child’s abecedary (A is for Apple, B is for Bee,...). Now try writing one for grown-ups, thinking of unusual words for each letter, concrete or abstract nouns, verbs or adjectives. Focus on creating a particular tone: light-hearted, sinister, condescending – it’s up to you. After each entry, write another short phrase based on whatever the image conjures, so you end up with something along the lines of ‘A is for absolution; asked for but never given.’ Another interesting game to play, based on a poem by John Updike, is to use 26 adjectives, each beginning with a different letter, to characterise 26 people. Use as many different words as you like, but the central description has to be based around that adjective.

DEFINING IDEA ...

‘Anything is fit material for poetry.’ WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS

an idea for you...

Try playing detective. Spend a day giving in to your most curious urges, your most nosy habits. Pretend that everywhere you go is your crime scene, that everyone around you is a suspect (although try not to follow people around, it could get you arrested). Look for the unusual in the everyday, the surprises in familiar landscapes, the unusual snippets of conversation from the people around you. When you find something fascinating, probe it, question it, interrogate it and imagine it. From this seemingly random bundle of information can be pulled the threads that form a poem or story.

Do you want to get published? Infideas can help. With years of experience getting authors self-published, they're your first stop for getting your words put into print.

Dynamic Dictionary?!

2011-08-24T07:14:00.000-04:00

Write at Home Mom is pleased to introduce guest blogger David Rice with today's vocabulary lesson!

The announcement that the word retweet is to be included in the 2011 edition of the Concise Oxford English Dictionary has come as no great surprise to fans of social media. Twitter has well over 200 million users around the world now, and this figure is on the increase every month. It was first launched in 2006, when creator Jack Dorsey sent the very first tweet.

New inclusions into the dictionary are added every year, and are often good indicators of our society and the way we interact. A less pleasant new word for 2011 is cyberbullying, which has become a hot news item in the past 12 months.

In 2010, one of the new words to have a dictionary listing was vuvuzela. The 2010 World Cup was held in South Africa, and the constant humming of these makeshift musical instruments became a strong focus of attention. While some commentators felt they added a certain color to the tournament, many others thought they blighted the whole competition.

Many dictionaries of the late 2000s started to include the phrase air quotes in their newer editions. We’ve become used to seeing people use this rather irritating gesture to accentuate what they’re saying, so it came as no great surprise when it became officially recognized by lexicographers around the world.

Facial hair comes in several shapes and sizes for men around the world, and in recent years many people have experimented with a new look. In 2006, soul patch became recognized by dictionary compilers, and the fuzzy addition has become popular with several celebrities, including David Villa, Jack Black and Bruce Springsteen.

Another new phrase that has become officially sanctioned in the past decade is duvet day, which describes an unplanned day off work in which the individual plans to do very little. While they are doing just that, it may be wise to chillax, a word that was accepted into dictionaries in the latter half of the 2000s.

Way back in 2001, the rise in popularity of the microscooter led to another new inclusion. Others that year included bladdered, chatterbot, hottie, ladette, weblog, retail therapy, and minger. From the world of entertainment, we got mockumentary, and in Australia we became aware of the sad plight of the Stolen Generation.

David Rice is based in the UK and is a keen follower of the way our society communicates. He doesn’t own a microscooter, because he prefers to use a car leasing agreement instead.

Faith

2011-08-23T10:09:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I am truly an unreliable blogger. Life has been so crazy lately that I pushed my blog to the backburner and then it fell off the stove. My humble apologies to the blogosphere. But, I do have some good news. I have finally finished my faith page. I would be honored if you would visit!

FAITH

Thank You Lord

2011-06-26T08:21:00.000-04:00

Oh my gosh, I have been such a bad blogger lately! And I know, I always give you the same old excuse ... too much work! Well, maybe I should take a moment to thank God for all this "too much work."

I have been stressed over money lately, which isn't like me. I am thankful that money doesn't hold much power over me. (Lest you think that I am a saint, you should know that chocolate cupcakes do.) But I can only delay a mortgage payment for so long without asking God, "Did you forget me today? Are the sparrows and wildflowers okay?"

Anyway, yesterday, I was having a BAD morning. My kids thought I had lost my mind. I posted a prayer request on Facebook, at least I tried ... I wrote something like "please pray for my sanity" and then hit post and Facebook crashed. I kid you not. My prayer request broke Facebook. My insane thoughts ranged from "God's got this, you don't need to post it on Facebook" to "God hates Facebook."

Anyway, God DID have it. In ways bigger than I could ever have imagined. I spent most of the day in prayer, and by the end of the day, miracles had happened. Which got me thinking ... I am always willing to ask friends and family to pray with me in crisis, but I NEVER remember to ask them to join me in praise. So, if you have a moment this morning, or whenever you read this, please do me the honor of taking a moment to thank God for saving my life ... again. He is so faithful. I am so grateful and astonished at His grace and mercy. Thank you Lord for giving me the opportunity to praise you for eternity. Amen.

AskForADeal

2011-06-19T17:51:00.002-04:00

This is pretty cool. Check out @askforadeal where you can ask your favorite brands for a discount! I asked Dunkin' Donuts for 25% off (for the rest of my life -- just kidding). I haven't heard back yet. Hmm...

Welcome (Again!)

2011-06-19T10:10:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Write at Home Mom's new design. I would like to thank The Frilly Coconut for the awesome new look! Jessica is talented, sweet, and so easy to work with! And her rates are incredibly reasonable! I highly recommend her if you're in the market for a blog facelift. ;)

Good Price, Good Cause

2011-06-12T05:01:00.003-04:00

This post brought to you by Walgreens. All opinions are 100% mine.

So I love Thai food, but I don't love heartburn. Yet, I keep eating the Thai food. So, let's just say that I consume my fair share of antacids. So, I recently purchased one of the Walgreens Brand Health & Wellness Products, the "assorted fruit antacid tablets."

mmm... yummy. I bought them because they were nearly half the price of the "name brand," and what can I say, I'm just a no-name-brand kind of girl.
Anyway, I wasn't surprised to learn that the ingredients were the same, and I was happy to find out that they tasted a little less icky than the more expensive option. Heartburn is gone, until my next plate of drunken noodles anyway.
But what really impresses me about Walgreens is their Walgreens Way to Well Fund™. Every time some frugal soul like myself purchases a Walgreens Brand Health and Wellness Product, Walgreens donates money to preventive wellness services in local communities, to the tune of $3 million annually. Now, that's cool.
I also happen to know that there are several bloggers hosting Walgreens giveaways right now. Alas, I am not one of them. But I am still grateful that I was able to buy antacids and support a good cause at the same time.

D.E.W. Animal Kingdom and Sanctuary

2011-06-11T22:41:00.001-04:00

I took the kids to D.E.W. Animal Kingdom and Sanctuary in Mount Vernon, Maine today. My son (2 1/2) has developed an obsession with lions, so I figured it was time to take a trip to the nearby animal rescue. (Plus, I kind of wanted to go too!)

It cost us $30 for three of us (kids under 3 and adults over 99 are free), but I felt good knowing that the money was going to the animals, as D.E.W. is a non-profit.

So, it was pretty awesome. At one point, the owner had a black bear standing on his hind legs and eating what looked suspiciously like peanut m&m's out of his mouth. It looked like he was kissing the bear -- pretty cool. My favorite was probably the baby deer, which is kind of funny, given all the exotic animals in the park. Of course, the baby white tiger was pretty darn adorable. Okay, so I've got a thing for babies, what can I say?

At one point, while hanging out with the camels, I was overwhelmed with the smell of the place, and actually got nauseous, but then several minutes past the camels, I picked up my son and realized it was his diaper that had made me ill, not the animals. Can't wait for that potty training!

Anyway, a very cool place to take the kiddos, although, you might want to go on a weekday, as the place was packed. I had to test my minivan's offroad capabilities (again).

Rachael Ray Nutrish Just 6 Dog Food Review

2011-06-07T14:25:00.001-04:00

This post brought to you by Nutrish. All opinions are 100% mine.

My husband sort of has a thing for Rachael Ray (and Tina Fey -- I am thinking of changing my name to Robin May), so I was a bit skeptical when I was asked to review Rachael's new dog food line. But it turns out that Maybelle is a Rachael Ray fan as well!

Maybelle loved this sample, and she's usually not crazy about dry dog food. (She much prefers to steal peanut butter sandwiches from my children.)

If you visit the Nutrish website, you can get your own free sample and/or a coupon! Rachael Ray Nutrish just 6 dry dog food is called Just 6 because it contains only six all-natural ingredients, plus vitamins and minerals: Lamb Meal, Brown Rice, Ground Rice, Dried Beet Pulp, Poultry Fat, and Natural Chicken Flavor.

(And yes, we got the cute little dog food bowl too, which is going to be awesome at dog shows -- it's the perfect size to take on the road!)

The food contains no corn, wheat, or soy, which will be good news to the thousands of doggie parents who are struggling with food allergies.

What really impressed me about this dog food is that Rachael donates 100% of the proceeds to charities that care for animals in need. Wow. I think we are switching brands. Turns out I have a thing for Rachael too, even if she did introduce my husband to bacon-wrapped tater tots. Ick. But seriously, thank you Rachael for being a champion for dogs.

Budget Blues

2011-06-03T18:31:00.002-04:00

Oh my word, do I hate the beginning of the month. Every bill we have is due on the first of the month. (I know, I know, everyone tells me to just pay half of them early on the 15th, but I just can't/don't.)

And it's not that we are poor as crows at the beginning of each month. That part I can handle. What I hate is the four hours it takes me to get all of the paperwork done.

Thank heavens it can all be done online, and I do use my bank's bill pay system. Still, it takes me forever. Part of the problem is that I am a touch obsessive, and I can't stop until everything is balanced out to the penny. And I can't stop until I've accounted for every penny that has traveled through our hands in the past month. Maybe I need to learn how to stop double checking and triple checking everything. Or maybe I need to use personal finance software, which would give me all the charts and figures my geeky brain desires.

I welcome advice on how to make this less of a chore. Is this just part of adulthood? Does everyone else spend hours of their lives stabbing at the calculator and moving money around?

10 TV Moms We Secretly Want to Be!

2011-05-28T20:29:00.003-04:00

Check out these ten TV moms some moms secretly want to be!

I often catch myself comparing myself to Clair Huxtable. How about you?

6 Ways to Evaluate/Improve Your Writing Skills

2011-05-27T19:02:00.002-04:00

I have been a lazy blogger lately! I'm sorry! I don't even have time to be blogging right now, but a few women have asked me similar questions in the last few days, so I thought maybe I should take a stab at an answer.

Since becoming a WAHM, I've been spending more time with other moms. Go figure. One of the many pluses. Anyway, several moms have said something like ...

Can I do that?

I love to write! But can I write?

How did you learn to do that?

So here goes, and remember, as always, it might be wise to ignore me.

First of all, as far as writing goes, I believe that if you write, then you are a writer. If you have a passion for language, are driven to blog or journal or write crazy novels, then don't you dare say you are not a writer!

However, when the time comes that you want to use your passion to earn some income, that truly is a different ballgame. Be aware that it might kill your passion. Sometimes passion is a fair trade for groceries.

If you still want to give it a try, and you're not sure you can, here's my advice: Get to know your own writing skills. And realize that this might hurt. Editors often don't have time to be gentle, and other writers can be a cruel bunch. If I stop to tell you about my first writing workshop, I will likely burst into tears. But, if you want to become a paid writer, or a better writer, you will want to hone your craft. Here are some ways you can do that. (As always, I don't know it all, so if you have a better idea, please leave a comment!)

6 Ways to Evaluate (and Improve) Your Own Writing Skills

Join a writing group. This is such an easy way to get yourself going. If you know any writers, ask them for an invite to their group. If you don't know any, put a call out to your social media contacts. (If you don't have any of those, hurry up and get some!) Check at your local library and bookstore. If all else fails, pin a sign-up sheet to the church bulletin board. Now, writers groups are not for everyone. Writers are by nature introverts and often don't want to go sit in a circle and chat about pronouns. And moms may very well not be able to squeeze a writing group into their schedule.
Take a class. This is how I learned to write. I paid for it. I paid big bucks. But you might not have to. While I found a formal education in writing to be absolutely fantastic, that's not for everyone either. And you don't have to get a Ph.D. in linguistics to ghost-blog. You might consider taking a class at a local community college. These may even be online. A site like onlineaccreditedcolleges.net can give you more info on online classes. Some schools offer adult ed courses for very little money. Check out the teacher/instructor/professor first and make sure he or she is someone you feel you can learn from.
I DO NOT recommend going this route, but many writers have done it. You can evaluate your own writing by sending it out for publication consideration. Sometimes, editors of small press publications will offer you some feedback on your manuscript. Often, they won't. Remember that rejection does NOT mean you can't write. And be sure to familiarize yourself with a publication before you submit your work to it.
Write for free. Does someone need a newsletter? If you are a mom, you are probably in a couple of "groups." Offer to do something for them, in exchange for some constructive feedback. Most communities have local newspapers that publish local writers. You will not be paid, but if they publish your work, that will be a good sign and a good boost to your confidence.
Hire an editor. Many aspiring writers pay a published writer to go over a manuscript and give them feedback. This can cost a ridiculous amount of money, so make sure you get a quote before agreeing to anything. I know a woman who paid $1000 for a critique of 5 pages. That might not be a wise investment. However, if you have an in with a writer, you can certainly ask if he or she might be willing to give you some coaching.
Blog. I don't think I could do this, but I know people who have. You can publish some of your writings on a blog and ask people for feedback. Yikes! You'd better have thick skin!

I don't recommend asking a loved one to critique your work. First of all, they love you, so they will be reading through rose-colored glasses. Second of all, if a loved one criticizes you, it could seriously damage your relationship.

Good luck, and happy writing!

Wow!

2011-05-23T09:57:00.000-04:00

Wow! The response to yesterday's post was much greater than expected. So, first of all, thank you to everyone who emailed me. And second of all, please don't be offended if I don't send potential clients your way! So many great women responded to my request! Thanks again!

Freelance Writing Work

2011-05-22T07:57:00.000-04:00

Hi Y'all.

I am totally swamped with work, and unfortunately, I am being forced to turn down work because I just don't have the time. For the last two weeks, I've hardly even slept.

So, my question is, do you want any work? If you would like me to refer any clients to you, please let me know! You can email me at robin (at) robinmerrill (dot) com. Please send me a link to your website or blog so that I can see your writing, or if you don't have one, just send me a sample of your writing.

Please know that these are not glamourous or prestigious jobs, but they do pay the bills. If you're only interested in a particular kind of work (e.g., blogging, SEO, creative work, proofreading), feel free to let me know your preferences.

So, if you're interested, let me know, and instead of just turning people away, I will turn them toward you!

Yommy

2011-05-11T18:05:00.000-04:00

Yommy

So, I've just started playing with a new social media site, Yommy. It's like Twitter, except that there's no character limit. In other words, I think it's just another microblogging site. But it does have some (so far I haven't figured it out) token system, and they say (so far I haven't figured it out) you can get paid for getting followers? Hmm... I'll keep playing with it and let you know if I start to rake in the big cash. I would be careful signing in with your Twitter account though, as it says in the permissions that you need to allow Yommy to follow new people on Twitter, which would drive me nuts.

Clothes Don't Grow. Kids do.

2011-05-11T09:05:00.002-04:00

This is a cool idea. Mothers have been trading clothes forever. Now we can
swap kids clothes / toys on thredUP.com!

Momnbaby

2011-05-09T09:39:00.002-04:00

Ladies you are not alone!

Meet other moms like you at Momnbaby,

a new place for moms and mombloggers.

Ben & Jerry's Fair Tweets

2011-05-07T11:52:00.000-04:00

For those of you who remember my old 30 days on earth blog, both of you, you know that I'm sort of obsessed with fair trade.

And everyone knows that I'm obsessed with Twitter.

And I'm a non-practicing Ben & Jerry's obsessive.

So, it might be obvious that I would think this website is pretty darn nifty: Ben & Jerry's Fair Tweets.

According to the fair gents at B & J, it is a crying shame that so many (of the potential 140) characters on Twitter are "wasted." So, if you tweet directly from their site, you will, in effect, "donate" your extra characters to spread the word about fair trade.

There, now you know why my tweets from the last 24 hours have been so "complete." I've been making the most of my 140 by tweeting from the fair tweets site.

Okay, so maybe this won't change the world, but it's fun. So hop over there right now and tweet me. You know you want to! ;)

Easy Windsock Activity for Spring

2011-05-06T21:46:00.001-04:00

This is a guest post by Rachel Paxton! Thank you Rachel!

Making windsocks is a fun activity to do with your preschooler or kindergartener on a rainy spring day. You and your child can make a windsock from items you probably already have on hand at home. Here's what you will need:

Construction paper
Scissors
Glue stick
Pencil
Hole punch
Stapler
Streamers
Ribbon or yarn
Spring cookie cutters

To make the basic windsock all you need is an 8 1/2 x 11 piece of construction paper or colored card stock. Using a paper cutter or scissors, cut the piece of paper in half lengthwise. You will now have two strips of paper the same size.

Next, your preschooler can go to work decorating the two strips. For this activity I decided to use spring flower cookie cutter shapes. Using a pencil trace the shapes onto a coordinating piece of construction paper or scrapbook paper. If your child wants to color the shapes, instead trace them onto white paper, and then have your child use crayons or markers to color the shapes.

Help your child cut out the traced shapes and glue them onto the two strips of paper you first cut out. Next lay the strips end to end and staple them together, making one long strip. Two staples, one at the top and one at the bottom, should hold it together. Then bend the strip into the shape of a circle and staple the other two ends together. This makes the shape of the windsock.

Using a hole punch, punch two holes in the top of the windsock, one on each side. Cut a piece of ribbon or yarn approximately 24 inches long and tie each end of the ribbon to one of the holes you just punched in the windsock. The ribbon will be used to hang the windsock.

Cut approximately 10 streamers, about 24 inches long each, to hang from the windsock. Help your child use the gluestick to apply glue to the tops of the streamers and then stick them to the bottom of the inside of the windsock.

That's it! You can also use pictures cut out of coloring books to decorate windsocks, or you can use stickers, whatever you have on hand. Windsocks can easily be customized for any season or holiday. Kids love watching their windsock blowing in the wind...just make sure you bring it in if the wind starts blowing too hard. You don't want it to blow away!

Rachel Paxton is a freelance writer and mom of five. For more preschool crafts, recipes, gardening, organizing tips, home decorating, holiday hints, and more, visit Creative Homemaking at http://www.creativehomemaking.com/!

Just the "Two of Us"

2011-05-05T22:01:00.001-04:00

This post brought to you by TwoOfUs. All opinions are 100% mine.

Thanks to my good friends at Social Spark, I've just discovered a cool new website: Two of Us. The site is dedicated to helping couples navigate through their relationships.

Now, I blog about everything. I've been told my blog was "unfocused." I've changed the name of my blog like 10 times. What's the big deal about focus? Anyway, just about the only thing I haven't blogged about is marriage.

Marriage is tough. Marriage is wonderful. Marriage is bizarre. Marriage is a miracle. Marriage is like a calculus problem.

And I'll admit, sometimes I have questions that I don't really want to ask out loud. Enter Two of Us. They've even got a parenting section, which I appreciate. I've been poking around the site for quite a while now, and I keep finding new things.

Speaking of which, I think I should have a conversation party. At the Two of Us website, actor Hill Harper of CSI talks about inviting couples over to your house to have a conversation party. It sounds bizarre at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that my husband and I don't really talk to other people. I mean, really talk. Sure we have friends, awesome friends, but when we get together, it's always to do something, not just to talk about life.

So whether you're in love or in like, whether you're looking for parenting tips or tips on keeping your relationship fresh, you can find them at Two of Us. Check it out! You can also visit Two of Us on Facebook.

Because I can't have a conversation party right now, please leave your burning relationship questions as comments. I am not going to answer them, because I have no idea what I'm talking about, but hopefully some of my readers will help you!

The Sofa Blues

2011-05-02T08:26:00.001-04:00

I love our couch. I probably love our couch more than a woman of God should. A woman of God should be up and at 'em, changing the world, but this woman often finds herself asleep on the couch.

My couch belonged to my grandparents. My couch is older than I am. I remember sitting on it when I was little, and being annoyed at how scratchy it was. I remember that back then, I wasn't allowed to have my feet on the couch.

Ha!

Today, I have told my children 17,000 times to stop standing/climbing/jumping/diving/cartwheeling on the couch. A few days ago, my daughter's precious 3-year-old friend got a bloodly stab wound from our couch. This morning, my husband sat on our couch and the innards fell through to the floor.

Am I going to have to start napping on the floor?

I am kind of panicking. Couches are ridiculously expensive. I've never had to buy one before. Did I mention I'm panicking?

I'm not complaining. We are not poverty stricken. We have enough to pay our bills and feed our kids, and that is enough ... but we don't have $1000+ to spend on a sofa! So ... will Robin learn to live without a sofa? Will she learn to nap in a chair? Or to skip naps (I shudder to think)? Anyone want to go lawnsaling with Robin? (That's what we call it in Maine -- and it has nothing to do with wind -- it's lawnsaling not lawnsailing.)

Ah life is good. Thank you God. I can live without a couch. There are many without a chair. Life is good. I can live without a couch. There are many without a chair. Life is good. I can live without a couch. There are many ...

This is not a sponsored post. No one has given me a couch to review (hint, hint).

It's Spring at Pier 1!

2011-04-26T20:01:00.001-04:00

This post brought to you by Pier 1. All opinions are 100% mine.

I don't even like shopping, but I like going into Pier 1. It's more like entertainment than shopping, and I love to be entertained.

And at long last, it is spring. I love spring. It is my favorite season by a landslide, sometimes a literal landslide. I love flowers and fiddleheads and softball and mud -- I don't even mind the blackflies. And in honor of spring, I move my family outside to our tiny fenced-in yard and set up camp. My kids throw rocks in the kiddie pool, our bunny gets some fresh air, and Maybelle barks at squirrels while Orville sleeps in the sun. Ah, spring.

Yesterday, I sat in my favorite deck chair only to realize that the arm rests had fallen off. I don't know how this happened, but I am struggling to type this right now with no armrests. So, I've promised my children that if they leave me alone and let me get some work done, later today we will go shopping. And guess where Mommy is going to stop? Not Home Depot.

I'm thinking I could get a lot of work done with these armrests for support.

I wouldn't even know what a papasan chair was if it weren't for Pier 1, and I think it's time I sprung for one! (Get it? spring/sprung -- I'm hilarious!) I think my kids would have some fun in this:

And I also think I could take a nap in it.

And I'm pretty sure I could get away with moving this stuff inside when it gets cold again. Oh, and even though there's a good chance that my yard already has enough frog stuff in it, I also really want this:

How cute is he?

Okay, back to work for me. Be sure to see if any Pier 1 Tweetups are happening near you!

Graduate School?

2011-04-22T17:32:00.001-04:00

So a few of my friends are thinking about going to graduate school. I wonder if I should be doing the same thing.

I see why they are considering it. Times are tough. The job market isn't great. People are looking for change.

I've been dreaming about getting that Ph.D. since I finished the Master's. I was actually studying French in preparation for application when I got pregnant with my first angel. Then I stopped thinking about the Ph.D.

But still ... the lure is there. One thing that slowed me down was that I couldn't find a Ph.D. program in Creative Writing closer than California. I don't want to live in California, though I would like to try surfing.

But my friends who are exploring their options are actually thinking about MBAs, which would probably lead to employment far faster than a Ph.D. in poetry. Of course, these folks need to take the GMAT, something I don't think I could do. I haven't yet taken Statistics, and would like to continue to avoid it. But these business-savvy Mainers will most definitely find something closer than a Los Angeles gmat course. So, maybe I'm the crazy one.

Anyway, the itch is definitely there, and the older my kids get, the more I will be tempted to scratch. I just love being a student, even when it's expensive, even if it means taking business courses ...

Ah well, lots of life left, hopefully. Hubbie says I need to finish paying for the Master's Degree before I can get another one. Smart man.

How to Avoid Lying to Clients

2011-04-22T16:03:00.004-04:00

I've been a lazy blogger lately, mostly because I've been sick. So, I'm so grateful today to have a guest post for you from the lovely freelance writer and mom, Stef Daniel. You can find her at Write from the Heart and at her blog. You can also find her at Momspirational. So without further ado, here she is ...

I read all of Robin’s advice. I really do. Yet it seems that every spring the same thing happens. Just as the softball bats come down from the attic and the weather becomes blissful, I find 101 reasons NOT TO WRITE.

It isn’t that life gets busier, it just gets more pleasant.

This means staying holed up in the house and on the computer in order to finish my jobs -- while dad is splashing in the pool and planting flowers with the kiddos, feels like some sort of odd torture. So I end up doing what every good freelancer does. I become unreliable, miss deadlines, and throw my professionalism out the window. After all, everybody needs a break.

This year, as soon as I felt the urges to use my immense creativity to make up some catastrophe in my life that would explain to clients why I was going to be late – or had to flake out completely, I decided to be proactive rather than irresponsible. After all, in this business your reputation is everything and blowing it for a few extra hours in the sun seems juvenile at best. (Fun, yes! But stupid!)

So, here are my short listed tips for beating the spring writer’s block (that can easily turn into a summer dry spell if you’re not careful!)

1. Take a REAL spring break of your own! If the kids are off, just go ahead and decide to NOT work that week (or two). Let clients know you aren’t working and set up your email to auto respond so people will not think you are simply snubbing them. I have found out the hard way that clients can and WILL quickly find other writers should they suspect you are on the lamb.

2. If you have work to do that you MUST get done – do it late at night or early in the morning. If you decide to work before or after sunrise, you won’t feel like you are missing out on the much-needed time outdoors.

3. Make sure you are as mobile as possible! In this day and age being tied to a desk by a cord is not acceptable. Especially for writers. Invest in a laptop, a phone with a data package or an I-Pod. (Plus, it’s a tax write off at the end of the year, and Lord knows we all need those!)

4. Make sure that you are organized so that after your ‘reprieve’ you will still have a steady stream of available work. Be honest with clients and offer them deadlines for after your spring break. You will be surprised how many of them can and will wait a week or two for deliverables, especially if they love your work!

5. Take some time during your Spring Break to write for YOURSELF! Remember how much fun writing was when everything you scribed was creative and soul soothing? By taking time out to write for yourself, you can recharge your linguistic batteries and renew your freelance purpose. Who knows, you might even come up with a project of your own.

Just because you are a stay at home freelancing mom (aspiring or not), doesn’t mean that you should NEVER be allowed time COMPLETELY OFF. By penciling time off into your plan, and staying responsible, you will never find yourself afraid to check your email, or apologizing to clients again.

Greg Mortenson is a Liar?

2011-04-21T14:13:00.006-04:00

I am angry.

It's been a while since I've been this angry.

This is my angry face.

The word on the street is that Greg Mortenson, philanthropist, humanitarian, and co-author of bestselling book Three Cups of Tea has lied in his books and has used funds donated to his charity, Central Asia Institute, for something other than building schools for poor kids in Pakistan.

Here's the thing. I LOVED Three Cups of Tea. I taught this book. I preached it. I believed in it. If I had any money, I would've given it to Greg Mortenson.

The original version sold 4 million copies. It's been published in young adult form and as a kid's book, making it an English teacher's dream, as the same pertinent story was available at every reading level. And sadly, this English teacher fell for it. I fell for a lie, and I spread it to impressionable children.

Apparently, I'm not alone. According to Jon Krakauer: Mortenson’s Pennies for Peace program (P4P) is a commendable cultural studies course that also happens to function as a phenomenally effective marketing-and-fundraising scheme for CAI. By pitching P4P directly to kids, their teachers, and school administrators, Mortenson has induced nearly three thousand schools in the United States and Canada to make P4P part of their standard K–12 curriculum. Hundreds of thousands of children have contributed their lunch money in response to P4P fundraising appeals.

Millions of people have given millions of dollars to Mortenson's charity. For the past three years, Mortenson has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize. In 2009, Obama donated $100,000 of his own Nobel Peace Prize to Central Asia Institute.

Here's a link to the 60 minutes clip that youtube won't let me embed: http://youtu.be/hB5474ellWo

And here's a youtube link I was able to embed:

If you haven't yet read the book don't, but it is an awesome story of hiker Greg Mortenson getting lost and wandering into a Pakistani village, where he was befriended. The short version: these people save the tall white man's life, and he promises to build their children a school. Then the book goes on. He builds them a school, against all odds, in the era of terror, and then he goes on to build dozens of other schools all over Pakistan and Afghanistan. Good for him, I said. Greg Mortenson is changing the world with education, I said. At one point in the book he was even kidnapped and held captive by Taliban. Poor Greg Mortenson, I said.

Apparently, most of this is untrue.

I've recommended the book on this blog. I'm sorry.

I had a poster of him hanging in my classroom for crying out loud. I'm sorry.

The yogurt hit the fan when esteemed writer Jon Krakauer, author of several amazing books including Into Thin Air and Into the Wild, donated money to Mortenson's charity. Then he decided to check on his money and see whom it was helping. Trouble is, he couldn't find it. Krakauer is a world famous investigative journalist. If you've got secrets, he's not someone you want poking around in your drawers.

Jon Krakauer has written an online book, Three Cups of Deceit, which is available for free download for TODAY only. It is definitely worth your time. After today, it will cost only a few bucks and all the proceeds will go to the Stop Girl Trafficking Project.

It wasn't too long ago that I was this indignant about another catastrophe of a book called Kabul Beauty School. Don't read it. I did, and then soon found out it was (accused of being) packed with lies. Its author Deborah Rodriguez allegedly put Afghan women in danger by the lies she told in her supposed memoir.

I used the Rodriguez book in the classroom too. We didn't read it, but I shared excerpts from the book and used it as an example of what memoir is NOT.

A memoir is:
1. A historical account or biography written from personal knowledge.
2. An autobiography or a written account of one's memory of certain events or people.

Rodriguez allegedly sold a pack of lies that made her look like a hero.

But at least no one sent money to Deborah Rodriguez.

A simliar fiasco happened a few years ago when James Frey published his falsehood-packed memoir A Million Little Pieces.

But again, no one sent money to James Frey.

And Greg Mortenson doesn't even have the excuse of memoir, which is allowed to be at least partially influenced by faulty memory. Mortenson didn't even write his book. David Oliver Relin did. And now, Mortenson is blaming Relin for inaccuracies. And Relin is saying that he wrote the entire book, and that Mortenson never should have appeared as a coauthor. What is going on here? Is this the Wild West?

With a little fact checking, investigators have found that some of the schools Mortenson has claimed to build do not exist. Some of them stand empty, with no children in sight. And though Mortenson claims that his schools are built in areas where the Taliban recruits young people, the truth is that they are not. The truth is that Mortenson's schools really have nothing to do with fighting terrorism with education.

15 Reasons to Blog

2011-04-11T09:29:00.001-04:00

I just wanted to share this great post with you: 15 Reasons I Think You Should Blog from one of my favorite blogs, Becoming Minimalist.

While I agree with the post, and am happy to recommend it to all bloggers and people-soon-to-become-bloggers, I also feel the need to add a bit to #15. Joshua writes that the positive comments can be great fun, and while that is true, it is also true that comments do not grow on trees or fall into your lap, or any other cliche that means "come easy." It's also true that not all comments are positive. Some people spam. Some people just say mean things. So blogging does open you up to all sorts of feedback, including silence.

How to Start a Blog

2011-04-02T09:54:00.011-04:00

First, I am no expert. If you want to start a blog, the first thing to do is to read a lot of other blogs about how to start a blog.

The second thing to do would be to identify what you want to accomplish with your blog. Is this blog going to serve as a place to direct prospective clients? Is this blog for fun? Is this blog a personal journal? Do you plan to make money with this blog? From advertising? By selling something through your blog?

Where you go from there depends on what you want to get from your blog.

If you are looking for a personal journal, a fun thing to do, or a portfolio, I like Blogger. Obviously. I also really like Tumblr. Both are super duper easy to use and offer free blogs.

However, nearly all serious, money-making bloggers prefer Wordpress. This too can be free, and they might advertise discreetly on your site. I find Wordpress to be a little bit more complicated, but still doable. Nearly all the clients I write for operate in Wordpress. And they are all making money. Go figure.

In truth: I have one of each.

Blogger is my fun blog. Tumblr is my portfolio. And Wordpress is my professional site. See? Even I have trouble making up my mind. There are also other free options, which I know nothing about.

One thing worth mentioning: is free really the way to go? If you are serious about making money, you might not want to go with a free website, for several reasons:

Some pros disrespect free domains. Some people won't want to guest post for you, and some might not want to advertise with you.
Some people believe that search engines don't respect free domains as much. Who knows?
If you are on a free domain, ultimately you don't have control. There's a slim chance that Blogger could change the rules, and delete the blog you've worked so hard to create. You can create a blog and pay for hosting without spending a million dollars. It is not a big investment to make, especially if you plan to make money with your blog.
If you are on a free domain, your domain name will be (slightly) more difficult to remember. It will take up way more characters on your business card.
Many non-blogging people out in the real world just turn up their noses at those domain names. Whether or not it is rational, people will likely respect you more if you have your own dot com.
If you are on a free domain, you will have fewer choices for domain names. A gazillion people have signed up for free blogs, gobbled up all the good names, and then never returned to use them.

Once you've chosen how to build your blog, you will need to choose a domain name. Do this carefully. I know bloggers who've chosen long, disorganized names, which isn't smart. And don't misspell stuff either, or incur the wrath of Grammar Girl's Sidekick.

If you choose the name http://tworabbits-ahouseanda2doorgarag.blogspot.com/, you are not doing yourself any favors. Yet, in a desperate attempt to quickly find a domain name that isn't yet taken, people do silly things.

You want something short, simple, catchy, and evergreen.

In Blogger at least, you are always free to change your domain name, but you will lose your Page rank, your Alexa rank, and many of your followers, so rarely is it worth it.

Okay, once you have a domain name, you can just start blogging.

You'll also want to spend some time on design. This is easy to do by yourself with both Blogger and Wordpress -- options in Tumblr are limited, but that's part of the charm -- but you can also hire a pro to do a knockout job. This can cost anywhere from $150-$1000. If you just want someone to design you a header, it could be cheaper.

Then, spread the word.

If you have any other specific questions, please let me know. If I don't know the answers, I won't pretend that I do. And if you have a new blog, please leave the link so that I can visit! Good luck!

Freelance Writing: Red Flags

2011-04-01T09:26:00.002-04:00

Happy April Fool's Day!

I wasn't laughing this morning when I realized my car payment was due. Where the heck did March go? This is one day I don't miss teaching in a high school, though all the schools around here are enjoying a snow day, so this is an extra special April 1st for all the teachers I know.

At any rate, the topic at hand ... red flags.

I was just discussing the topic with another freelancer, and I thought it would make a good topic for a post, because it's something I am still figuring out myself.

I have this annoying tendancy to assume the best of everyone, to look for the good, and to make excuses for bad behavior.

So when a client does strange things, I often find it easier to just ignore them.

This. Is. Not. Smart.

Red flags have been used as flood warnings. If you ignore the red flag, you drown. Or, you at least end up treading water furiously in a wet bra. Neither option is as desirable as simply walking away.

Let's consider my background for just a second. I was a mate in the Merchant Marine. I can't think of a (legal) situation where you are more at the mercy of your boss. I had some captains who were some real psychos. Sure, I could always quit and walk off a ship, but I would have to wait anywhere from a few days to a month to get to shore so that I could do so. I would then incur the wrath of the union and effectively ban myself from employment for a long time. So, I never quit, and captains were free to treat me, and everyone else, anyway that they pleased. Yeah. It sucked.

Now fast forward to my freelancing career. There's a reason freelancing starts in the word free. You are in charge. It's likely that you've sacrificed health benefits for this freedom, so don't squander it. You don't have to work for anyone. You can pick and choose clients. Isn't that awesome?

I think some of us (I won't speak for you here) operate from an uncertainty or a fear, and end up ignoring red flags because we are worried we won't find another opportunity. Here's the radical idea I'm proposing: I would rather starve then work for an abusive psycho.

We are freelancers. We chose to be. We have every reason to say, "I see the red flag. Sayonaro."

Now, of course, if you've signed a contract, then you are bound by it, but only until the task is completed. You don't have to renew the contract. And be sure to search the horizon for the color red before ever signing on the dotted line.

I have seen red flags with many clients, and never once have they been wrong. I am so grateful when I follow my gut and so sorry when I don't. Follow your gut.

Here are some red flags that I've seen. Please, please, please add your own to my list. I would appreciate the help.

A client refuses to make a downpayment. With the exception of tiny jobs, or jobs from people who I know and trust, I ask for 50% payment up front. If they don't like that, red flag, sayonaro.
A client uses the word "non-negotiable." Yes, they have the money, but you have the skills they need. This is not a one way street. If they want a one way street, they can hire someone who enjoys one way streets. A street dotted with red flags.
A client has a problem communicating. You say something, and he or she completely misunderstands. You write a clearly composed email, and he or she completely misreads it. While this might not even be his or her fault, you don't want to deal with it. Red flag, sayonaro.
A client is late with payments. Red, red, red, red ...
A client doesn't stick by his or her word. If he or she says something, and then recants, especially if this happens more than once, run for the hills ... the same thing goes for a client who asks you to do something and then forgets he or she did so. This has actually happened to me. "Robin, would you please write a press release?" "Sure, happy to." I write it, send the invoice, and the client says, "What's this?" Excuse me?
A client doesn't appreciate you. Okay, I might be getting all soft on you, but I'm a feeling person, and when someone treats me like a robot, I pull the plug.
A client is rude, insulting, abusive ... just like the bumper sticker ... mean people suck. Life is too short.
A client wants free work. He or she might ask for a sample, or just expect you to do something on top of your work load.
A client gets upset if you are not at his or her beck and call. One of my clients called me at midnight. One got mad that I didn't answer an email within an hour. Hello. I have a life.
A client just makes you feel uncomfortable. God gave you a 6th sense. Use it.

I truly apologize if this post has been overly negative. Freelancing is truly awesome 90% of the time, but I'm striving for 100%, and if my client base is composed of honest, kind, appreciative, professional people (which it currently is) then life is a bowl of cherries.

Writing Job

2011-03-29T16:18:00.000-04:00

Hi Y'all,

I've just learned of an open writing job that I thought I would pass along to all of you. Polish up those portfolios!

WRITER NEEDED: I am a successful inventor looking for a writer to help me write a book about making inventions and developing businesses around them. You can learn more about my work at http://www.patricianolanbrown.com/. I want to share my expertise with the world, and I need a writer who can help me turn my ideas into concise, accessible prose. I hope to publish a series of short books about various stages of the invention process. I am open to different financial arrangements including a stipend or splitting royalties. Your name would be included in the book.

Please contact me if you are interested at patricianolanbrown (at) gmail (dot) com

Helping Your Child with the Driver License Test!

2011-03-26T10:00:00.000-04:00

So my kids are a few years away from this, thank God, but it seems like everyone I know has a child taking a drivers test. And I don't envy them -- the parents or the kids. The whole process is unnerving at best. I guess it's just one of the first really uncomfortable experiences in a long line of uncomfortable, but necessary, adult experiences.

So, CONGRATS to all you friends who have pulled it off! Please drive safely! I recently rode along with one of you, and was reminded of just how complicated driving can be! *wink*

So, I just wanted to pass this along to y'all, especially you homeschooling folks who are especially apt at helping your kids study.

DMV Study Guide

The link will take you to DMV Cheatsheets. I wish they didn't call it cheatsheets, because as far as I can tell, it's all on the up and up. DMV Cheatsheets provides a study guide and practice test for each state for $9.95. I thought that was a reasonable price, but I was especially impressed with this part: if your child doesn't pass the written test on the first try, they will refund your money! Ha! Pretty awesome.

And if any of you parents need an adult to ride around with your permit child, I'm game ... NOT! Ha! Happy driving.

Freelance Writers, What's Your Niche?

2011-03-14T07:51:00.000-04:00

What's your niche? And do you need one? And do people know what your niche is? And how many other people claim the same niche? Good questions!

A niche is an area of expertise. When I started writing for hire, dogs were my niche. Now, Jesus has become my niche. If anybody needs an article about Jesus-loving canines, I am their woman.

But for real, what is your area of expertise? You need one! This doesn't mean that you will be bound by it -- it just means that you will use it to help market yourself. It will serve as a keyword -- one that you type in when job searching and one that your future clients will type in when searching for you.

For freelance writers, the most popular niches I see are: green, tech, social media, frugal living, Internet marketing, blogging, make money online, dogs, health, wine, and parenting. You don't need to choose one of these -- these are just the jobs I see the most, most likely because these are the things people are looking for online.

So, let's choose your niche right now. Here are some tips that might help:

Choose a niche that you already know something about.
Choose a niche that you wouldn't mind learning more about. I recently turned down a great job about home security alarms because I just couldn't bear the thought of studying them.
Choose a market that's not already saturated. This one is tough, and if you have a particular passion for something, feel free to ignore my advice.
Choose a market that's not so obscure as to keep you unemployed. Love to write about frog legs? Good luck.
Once you've got a niche, make it known! Put it on your website/blog, your letterhead, your business cards, or whatever. Leave it in a comment below. Then, when someone offers me a job about frog legs, I'll know to come to you.

Please feel free to add your own tips!

Lipstick Love Part II

2011-03-13T10:12:00.001-04:00

To truly understand what a bad mom I am, you need to first read Lipstick Love Part I.

There, now that you're all caught up, allow me to finish the story. After we finished cleaning up the lipstick, we enjoyed several hours of peace and quiet. Then we heard water dripping. In the hallway. On the first floor. Directly under the upstairs bathroom. This is not normal.

My husband went to investigate. It turns out that my little deviant had also gotten into the cupboard under the bathroom sink and pulled out the drain pipe.

So, every time any of us used the bathroom sink, the water was pouring directly onto the floor and eventually into the space between floor and ceiling.

(I apologize for the elementary level of my description. I'm not much for construction or plumbing vocabulary.)

So my husband fixed it, we all had a good laugh, and I vowed again to buy childproof doorknobs.

We enjoyed several more hours, as in about twelve, of peace and quiet, and then ... and then ... as we were sitting and enjoying a peaceful rerun of The Young Riders, the ceiling caved in and gallons and gallons of water gushed out of the ceiling and all over the floor, drenching our hallway in water, dust, and chunks of 1925 insulation.

We couldn't imagine what had happened, but after some investigation, my husband found a couple of lipstick covered washcloths in the pipes under the sink. You've got to be kidding me.

Apparently, my little deviant had flushed a few washcloths, and then decided that he could do better. So, when he unhooked the drain pipe, he shoved a few washcloths in there for good measure. This, of course, caused the water to leak in a new spot, build up in the space between floor and ceiling and then let go in one scary torrent of dirty water.

It took me two hours to clean up the water. The entire ceiling was destroyed. Ah, who needs ceilings anyway? I figure we'll replace it after we finish paying for my son's college education. Perhaps he'll be a plumber. Or a make-up artist.

Lipstick Love

2011-03-05T08:06:00.000-05:00

Apparently my son (2) can open doors now. Yesterday, I went to check on him while he was napping, and I couldn't find him. I panicked, of course, and began running around the house. I found him, sitting in my office, in the dark, in my chair, staring at my computer. When he saw me, he began crying. I would have freaked out at the possibility that he had either deleted hours of work or booked a flight to Gibraltar, but I didn't have time because I saw what I thought was blood all over his face.

I picked him up and carried him out into the light to find that there was no blood, only lipstick. Lipstick, which I keep in my top dresser drawer. (So in addition to doors, he can open drawers. Check.) I began to laugh, he continued to cry, and I could smell the distinctive Estee Lauder scent, which means, my kid has taste, he chose a $20 lipstick. Turns out that Pure Eden was on his lips, on his teeth, in his hair, in his ears, and covering his cheeks, chin, neck, and hands.

Being the resourceful mother that I am, I got the baby wipes out and began to clean him up. He had some on his shirt, so I took it off to find that he had completely painted his entire chest and belly. How long exactly, had he been wandering around unattended? It was clear that there was more than Pure Eden at work. It looked like Maple Sugar too, but I can't be sure, as I haven't yet found the tube(s).

He's still screaming, so I keep scrubbing, then carry him downstairs to his father. I was still baffled as to what all the screaming was about, until my hubbie said that my son knew he was in trouble and was screaming in advance so that I would take pity. It worked. I hugged my little artist and told him he wasn't in trouble, that I wasn't mad, and I got him to calm down -- mostly.

Then I went back upstairs to investigate. I'm no Agent Booth, but this is what I've ascertained: my resourceful son dragged the dog stairs (yes, my dogs have stairs so they can get on and off the bed) over to my bureau, where he retrieved my zippered bag of lipsticks. Yes, ahem, he can do zippers too. He then proceeded to paint himself and everything on top of my bureau: deoderant, compacts, perfumes, lotions, and a bra. He then tried to clean himself up, using washclothes from the closet, which he then tried to flush down the toilet. The toilet was plugged with red washclothes and there is lipstick all over the toilet.

I have a hunch that then, he heard me coming and bolted for my office, as there is fingerprint evidence that he closed my office door in a hurry. There is no lipstick in my office, so he wasn't in there very long.

I returned to my son, hugged him, reminded him that he wasn't in trouble, and then asked him to look me in the eyes. And I said, "Where are the lipsticks now?"

And he said, with a completely straight face, "Mommy did it."

Freelance Writing: How to Find Work

2011-03-01T08:43:00.000-05:00

At some point, I decided to "write for real," not just for fun. I revamped my website, created a (somewhat) organized office in my house that was off-limits to people under four feet tall, and buckled down.

Then, I just sort of sat there. I was determined to make real money at writing. I'd written my goals down and stuck them on the wall beside my computer screen.

Then, I just sort of sat there, waiting for work to fall out of the sky.

I followed the advice I'd read from other writers -- I networked, in a ridiculously competetive and political social web, I handed out business cards, and I watched people roll their eyes when I announced I was a writer.

Then, I just sort of sat there. So, here I have assembled some actual, practical tips that may or may not work for you. But I won't tell you to just hand out business cards and hope for the best. I know what I do with business cards.

So, without further ado, here are some things I've done to generate leads for myself. Good luck.

You need a blog/website/online portfolio. You really do. I know some people would argue with me, but this is only my humble opinion, and you are welcome to ignore it. ;) I've had a website forever, and it was helping. Then, I had a professional web designer spiff up my site, and honestly, the jobs just started rolling in. Make sure your site is search engine optimized, so that people can find you. (If this sounds like a foreign language to you, let me know and I can help you with this part.)
Contact other freelance writers and tell them that you are available for overflow work. You can either ghostwrite for pay, under their names, or, even better, just ask them to send you clients they can't take. I, thank you God, have recently been given some job offers that I cannot accept. I would love to be able to point these potential clients to someone good, instead of just turning them away. If you do try this, be sure to send the writers some sample work, so that they will know you are good. I know that I wouldn't recommend someone if I didn't know their work.
Become friends with Craig. Who is Craig? CraigsList, silly! I don't know why freelancers are so hesitant to utilize CraigsList. Yes, it is time consuming to scour ads, but if you are looking for work, you have time! CraigsList has a listing for Writing/Editing! Use it!
Offer to write for blogs you admire and read. Even if you don't get paid, this will be worth your while if you can link back to your own site from a heavily trafficked site.
Consider Elance or Guru. These sites post jobs, which you bid on, and then the site takes a cut from your pay. It is not the ideal, but it is one way to generate some leads while you are still working on your other angles.
Advertise / Network with Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Quora. Don't spam people. Don't be annoying. But you can certainly say things like, "Does anybody need a writer for their blog? I'm available, and I'm awesome!"

If you are a good writer, and you do these six things, and you still can't find work, I will eat my hat.

Cord Blood Banking

2011-02-28T10:01:00.005-05:00

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of CryoCell International for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.

Pregnant? Thinking of banking your baby's cord blood? I thought about it when I was pregnant, but ultimately chose not to do it because it was so expensive.

Yet the more research I read, the more it seems like a worthwhile investment. If I get pregnant again, I think I might try to make it work.

This precious blood is a rich source of stem cells, cells that could be used to treat your baby later in life if he or she is ever in need. A lot of the time, it can also be used for siblings.

If you are pregnant or know someone who is (talk about an original baby shower gift!), you might consider paying a visit to www.Cryo-Cell.com

or www.Cryo-Cell.net
nbsp;for more information. From this website, you can request free information and/or speak to an advisor.

Get a Tan with Your Computer?

2011-02-28T07:16:00.000-05:00

Know someone who tans obsessively? I do. And it is my pleasure to send them to Computer Tan. And whether or not you are a tan fan, it's worth checking out. With just a few clicks of your mouse, you can get some color right from your computer screen ... or can you?

Breast Milk Ice Cream

2011-02-26T12:30:00.002-05:00

I loved nursing. And when I've said those words aloud, I've gotten some strange looks, and even a few verbal attacks. But I really did. There was no better way to bond with my babies, and I loved feeling like I was their source of life and nourishment. I loved being able to provide for them. And I loved relaxing and focusing on my baby. For nursing in public, I've been called a "boob nazi" and for suggesting that if possible, all mothers should nurse, I've been called a "lactivist." So it means something when I say ...

No! No! No! This is going too FAR!

Icecreamists, a London restaurant, is introducing ice cream made from human breast milk, for the incredibly low price of $23 per serving. The 15 mothers who donated the milk were screened for communicable diseases before doing so. Oh, then that makes it totally not gross. One of these mothers is quoted as calling her milk "free range." hahahahahahaha!

I suppose there are thousands of vegans out there who find cows' milk ice cream gross for similar reasons, but that is a topic for a future post.

This iced human cream is made from breast milk, vanilla pods, and lemon zest, and is called "Baby Gaga." And this, whether or not it is a semi-veiled reference to Lady Gaga and her extreme antics, makes the scenario even more disturbing.

So, for the record, I am all for breast milk, and if I'd had the culinary ability to turn my own into a frozen lemony treat for my own babies, I might have done so. But purchasing a bowl of breast milk ice cream is just so far beyond my ability to stomach -- pun intended. I like to think of myself as open-minded, comfortably liberal, and nonjudgmental, but not this time. Gross!

Sorry if this offends anyone ...

2011-02-26T08:26:00.000-05:00

Sorry if this offends anyone, but I just really needed to laugh at absurdity this morning ...

Have You Seen RockMelt? Social Media as it Should Be!

2011-02-18T18:13:00.003-05:00

Three Year Old Theology

2011-02-16T20:52:00.000-05:00

Three year old daughter in pink. Thirty-three year old Mommy in blue.

Mommy, are mean people make believe?

(Laughing, thinking, oh how I wish I could keep her like this) No, honey, I'm afraid mean people are real.

But I've never seen one.

I know, but eventually, you will.

Why are mean people mean?

Well, for lots of reasons, but mostly just because they don't know Jesus.

How can people not know Jesus?

Well, they just haven't met Him yet.

I know Jesus.

I know you do, honey.

Sometimes I get mad at my brother. Is that mean?

No. It's okay if you get mad at your brother. Just don't hit or kick him.

Okay. (And she runs away.)

Are Sponsored Posts a Good Idea?

2011-02-14T09:49:00.000-05:00

I'm guest posting again, this time on Blogelina. If you'd like to read my thoughts about Sponsored Posts, and I mean, why wouldn't you, then hop on over to Blogelina! :)

Are Bidding Websites Good ... UPDATE

2011-02-14T07:57:00.000-05:00

So a few days ago, I guest posted at Freelance Folder, with a post titled, "Are Bidding Websites Good for Freelancers?" By "bidding sites," I mean Elance, oDesk, Guru, etc.

The comments have gotten pretty involved, and I highly recommend checking them out, to see what other freelancers think about bidding websites. I've learned some stuff, for sure!

Are Bidding Websites Good for Freelancers?

2011-02-11T09:24:00.002-05:00

Hello Friends,

I am back in the saddle, metaphorically of course, because it is 5 degrees out, and today I am guest posting at Freelance Folder. So, if you care to hear what I think about bidding sites, check it out!

Thanks for stopping by!

Reason #2 Not to Freelance -- You Can't Get Sick

2011-02-08T09:10:00.001-05:00

I want to call in sick.

But I can't.

Because there's no one to call.

This post will be short, probably not sweet, because I have to go back to bed.

I have several clients balanced precariously on the same calendar and none of them have time for me to be sick. And while most of my clients are understanding, compassionate human souls ... some of them are not.

I've had jobs before where I could show up and "make it through the day." Probably not accomplishing much, but at least surviving. I am not smart enough to do that with writing. I cannot write, or even think, without a clear head, and certainly not when I am doped up.

Don't be a freelancer. And if you ignore my advice, remember to take your vitamins.

Work for Favor

2011-02-05T09:20:00.000-05:00

I just found the coolest new site! Work for Favor is a new website connecting people who need favors! You simply must check it out! :)

Just by joining, you are granted 70 "bonuses" to spend. So let's say I needed something tweeted, I could give my bonuses to people to tweet for me. Then, when these people needed something from me, or from anyone else, they just pass those bonuses along. (At least, I think that's how it works -- I'm still learning!)

It takes money out of the picture! I love it! It's like the old barter and trade system. You ask the world for favors, draw a few points out of the karma bank, and then put them back in when someone needs something from you! Brilliant!

Reason #1 Not to Write for Hire

2011-02-03T08:15:00.000-05:00

I used to write for free. I wrote out of passion for language and a desire to communicate with the world (and with myself). That was back when I had a day job.

I spend a lot of time on this blog glorifying the idea of freelance writing. But lest I lead you to think it is all cherries and roses, I present to you, the dark side:

The thing with writing for hire is, sometimes, your clients demand that you do awful work ...

... with your name still attached.

What do I mean? Let's use a press release for an example. A client hires me to write him a press release and to distribute it. From my online account, with my name as author, and from my fax number. I write him a kick butt press release. However, he feels that a press release should really be cheesy, longwinded sales copy and he asks me for multiple revisions, until the finished product, which makes him gleeful, makes my skin crawl. I am supposed to distribute it to legitimate journalists and editors who will no longer read any of my emails ever again.

Here's another one: Anthology editor asks me for a short story. Ah, thank God, a fiction job. I take it with bells on. But then the editor revises and revises until my story has absolutely zero literary quality, is written at the third grade level (nothing against third graders) and then she demands a graphic sex scene at the end. This happened to me.

And my name is still attached.

Here's another one: client hires me to build a website for her. I create one. She hates it. Asks for multiple "improvements" until the thing looks like a Home Depot paint palette for the color brown, with size 8 font black text. And then she tells everyone in the world that I designed it for her. She neglects to mention that I did it to her specs.

Of course, there are ways to avoid this problem, but they require significant intestinal fortitude as well as a cut in pay.

When this happens, I can say,

"If you make these changes, I respectfully request that you remove my name from the project."

But if you say this, what the client hears is, "You are a stupid idiot and I don't want to be associated with you."

And if you say this, you might get paid for this project, but you sure won't be given any more work from this client.

You can also ask a client that you use a pen name for a specific project, and you can make up any number of wacky rationales for doing this. But this is a giant pain in the butt. I've done this, and then I couldn't use my pre-established press release distribution account, which means I couldn't use the money in it, which means I had to set up a new account, which meant I had to set up a new, fake, email account, and eventually, I decided it just wasn't worth it.

Alas, I'm really just using this opportunity to complain. But seriously, before you decide to start pimping out your pen fulltime, realize that you might be asked to compromise on your artistic, or even ethical, principles. How will you handle it?

You are always allowed to quit a job, and suffer the paycut and the negative feedback in the community. You will survive it. Or, you can be like me, attach your name to a cheesy short story, cash your check, and slink off into the sunset. :)

Commonly Misused Words

2011-02-01T18:06:00.005-05:00

Here is a fun infographic for all you homeschooling and parenting types. Or, if you are a writer who frequently confuses lie and lay, feel free to use it as well! I admit, I already have a lie/lay chart on my wall, just because I'm paranoid. Anyway, sorry that the text is so small, but feel free to click on the link for a larger version!

Source: Online Schooling

And the Winner is ...

2011-01-31T19:28:00.000-05:00

Thank you to all of you who participated in my giveaway.

Random.org chose #19 as the winner of the $25 gift certificate for CSN Stores.

The #19 belongs to the lovely Liz of Quiltz n Hoez.

Thank you all and have a great week!

Birth Control Fun Facts :)

2011-01-31T18:12:00.003-05:00

So, not that I'm thinking of babies or anything, okay, I am, but here is a cool infographic for you about the history of birth control. Why am I suddenly humming Loretta Lynn's "The Pill" ...

Source:Laboratory Technician
Sorry the text is too small, but click on the pic to read it!

Sorry, this is just too funny not to share ...

2011-01-29T09:01:00.000-05:00

Remind This!

2011-01-28T08:37:00.001-05:00

Have you noticed my shiny new button on the left? Ooooo ... isn't it beautiful?

And the best part? It was free!

Have you ever found a website that you just adored, and wanted to come back? Maybe you didn't have the time to follow, or maybe following wasn't an option on a site. There are so many funny, cool, obscure websites out there and I've already forgotten about most of them. Too bad they didn't have a Remind This button.

I love Remind This! You can add a button to your blog or site that allows visitors to set up gentle, non-obtrusive reminders to themselves to come back and see you! Go ahead, click it, I dare you! ;)

Career Builder

2011-01-27T08:32:00.001-05:00

Looking for writer's jobs? Check out Career Builder! You can search for jobs in your area, many of which are work from home. And you can upload and save your resume or CV to the site to make life easier. If you'd like, you can even set it so that employers can find you without you even having to apply to anything.

Shameless plug: Need help with your resume/CV? Let me know! ;)

$25 Giveaway for CSN Stores!

2011-01-25T11:00:00.000-05:00

It's time! The CSN giveaway is here!

On Monday, January 31st, I will choose one lucky winner to receive a promotional code worth $25

that she can spend at any of the 200+ CSN stores.

If you can't find something you want or need at CSN stores, I'll eat my hat.

I'm rushing the deadline a bit because the code will expire March 1st, and I want to give my winner plenty of time to shop!

Sorry, this giveaway is only good in US and Canada.

Here's how to enter! (Be sure to leave a separate comment for each of your entries!)

Mandatory Entry: Follow my blog! :)

For super awesome extra chances to win, you can also do any of the following!

Follow me on Facebook's Networked Blogs! (Widget in sidebar.)
For 2 extra entries, mention this giveaway in a blog post, with a link back to this blog! (Be sure to share the link with me so that I can visit! ;)
Follow me on Twitter!
Tweet about this giveaway! (You can tweet once per day. Leave a comment with link to tweet each time you do.)
Like Write at Home Mom on Facebook! (You can do this in the sidebar.)
Friend me on Facebook.
For 5 extra entries, review this blog at Alexa. (Link in sidebar!)

Thanks for playing and good luck! :)

Hoppin'

2011-01-25T08:43:00.000-05:00

It's Tuesday again, at least I think it is, and we're blog hopping again! Visit Susan Heim on Parenting for the details, and please join the hop!

Write at Home Mom

Awesome Children's Book Giveaway!

Are You a Member of Your Local Business Alliance?

Are Megachurches Spiritually Relevant or Just Socially Convenient?

Do Megachurches Bring On Mega Problems?

Let’s Keep It Personal

This Will Make You Laugh

Never Apply for EMERGENCY URGENT RIGHT NOW Jobs

Josh Turner Testimony

*Giveaway* A Mile in His Shoes--Movie Review

Sometimes Freelance Writers Get Fired

Is there like a secret writer's club or something?

Don't Pay People to Publish Your Poetry

Walgreens Offers Discount on Prescription Savings Club in January

Do I Use a Comma Before Too

2012 New Year's Resolutions

Merry Christmas, Because It Matters.

10% Off All Products from bigDOTprint!

Stop the Clock

Want to Get Rid of Head Lice? Meet the Lice Terminator!

All Caught Up! How Can this Be?!

What is Google+ and Do I Need It?

The House of Hope--Book Review

How to Get Your Short Stories Published

Short Stories

The Different Types of Short Story Competition – Where to Start

Puppies vs. Babies--The Ultimate Cuteness Showdown!

How to Clean Your Home in Under an Hour

How Many Hours Does a Freelance Writer Work?

Is there a Monster in your closet?

Writing Jobs for Moms

Zombie Church & $50 Amazon Giveaway!

10 Reasons to Self-Publish

Tweeps for Writers

Beware the Vanity Press

To Work or Not to Work--On Sundays

The Work at Home Mom Myth

Should Freelancers Charge by the Hour or by the Project?

How Much Do Freelance Writers Charge?

What About Article Directories?

The New Art of Momoir

Freelance Writing is NOT Quick Money

Productivity Tips

Blog Hopping Again!

Freelance Writing: 4 Kinds of Clients

Like Free Stuff?

Know What's Better than a Blog Hop?

What To Do When You Don't Have Any Work

Dog Food Coupons!

Words Getting Kicked Out of the Dictionary

Amish Values Giveaway and Contest

Let's Get Creative!

Dynamic Dictionary?!

Faith

Thank You Lord

AskForADeal

Welcome (Again!)

Good Price, Good Cause

D.E.W. Animal Kingdom and Sanctuary

Rachael Ray Nutrish Just 6 Dog Food Review

Budget Blues

10 TV Moms We Secretly Want to Be!

6 Ways to Evaluate/Improve Your Writing Skills

Wow!

Freelance Writing Work

Yommy

Clothes Don't Grow. Kids do.

Momnbaby

Ben & Jerry's Fair Tweets

Easy Windsock Activity for Spring

Just the "Two of Us"

The Sofa Blues

It's Spring at Pier 1!

Graduate School?

How to Avoid Lying to Clients

Greg Mortenson is a Liar?

15 Reasons to Blog

How to Start a Blog

Freelance Writing: Red Flags

Writing Job

Giveaway A Mile in His Shoes--Movie Review